A RESTORED Marriage Testimony,
Remarried Sober after 15 Painful Years

This testimony was taken from one of our many
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Chapter 8 "Have You Dealt Treacherously?"

“The LORD has been a witness between
You and the wife of your youth, against
Whom you have dealt treacherously,
Though she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.”
—Malachi 2:14

mRYM

Have you dealt treacherously with your wife?

Maybe that question is difficult to answer because you’re not exactly sure what the Bible means by living treacherously. If we check the Strong’s Concordance, the word treacherous, “bagad” pronounced (baw-gad), means to act covertly, to pillage, deal deceitfully, offend, transgress, depart, unfaithful.

The definition of treacherous in the Webster’s dictionary is: of the character or actions of a traitor.

Now that you have the definition, you must ask yourself; have you committed any of these offenses against your wife? Let’s take each offense and look at it carefully. This is not intended to condemn you, but rather to bring you to conviction. Until there is conviction and you look at your actions as sin, there can be no repentance. And without repentance, there is no mercy. Without mercy, there is no grace. And, brother, we all need as much grace as we can get! We can deny our sins all we want, but that will never bring about the change that is needed. You need to be the kind of husband your wife needs (and deserves)! If you’re ready, then let’s go.

To act covertly. The definition of covert is hidden, secret or disguised. How many times have you hidden things or done things secretly? “But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.” Eph. 5:13. You may have covered it up with everyone, even your wife, but there is One from whom you cannot hide. If you have done things in secret, then you have dealt treacherously with your wife.

To pillage is the act of taking goods by force, also to attack, defraud, or rob. You may be looking at this in the context of actual material goods, but what is most important to a woman is not the material goods, but the emotional goods. Have you attacked her verbally, or have you robbed her of joy because of your anger? Have you also robbed her of joy because of the unrealistic demands that you have put on her? Have you been a man that continually takes from her, giving very little in return? Now do you wonder why your marriage is in the state that it is in? My friend, there is a Savior who is waiting for you to lay this all down at the cross. HE is there to forgive you, if you repent.

Dealing deceitfully. Most of us are so good at talking around the truth, and our excuse is that we can’t tell our wives the truth because we don’t want to hurt them. Or, when we are confronted with the truth, we tell our wife that it’s her fault because, you always get on me and I don’t need a mother. Well, do we need a mother? If there is nothing wrong with what we are doing, why do we need to hide it?

Let’s take a hard look at Scripture and stop making excuses. “A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who tells lies will not escape.” Prov. 19:5. Also, as we learned in the last chapter, “There are six things which the LORD hates, Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, a false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brothers.” Prov. 6:16-19.

Offend. When you offend your wife, do you really care? Or do you just think or say it’s her problem. Men and women were created and brought together to complement one another. Our wives need our strength and leadership, and we men most desperately need our wife's refinement.

How do you dress? What about those comfortable clothes you wear around the house that she finds so unappealing? What you wear in the presence of your wife speaks volumes as to how much or how little you care. How are your manners? Do you open doors for her and help her put her coat on? Do you treat your wife with honor? What are you teaching your children by your poor example?

Transgress. Webster says that to transgress means to go beyond a limit. Men and women both have a limit to how much they can take before they actually break. It may be that they break physically or emotionally. One of three things usually happens when a person is pushed beyond what they can endure: they learn to fight back, they walk away, or they stay until they are destroyed. Whose fault is it if you push your own wife too far? “And He said to His disciples, ‘It is inevitable that stumbling blocks should come, but woe to him through whom they come!’ ” Luke 17:1.

Depart. It is sad to see so many men leaving their families only to find new wives and new families for which to care. It is so frustrating to see these men paying so much attention to children that are not their own, while at the same time their own children are falling apart emotionally due to their abandonment. “Like a bird that wanders from her nest, So is a man who wanders from his home.” Prov. 27:8.

Unfaithful. Have you ever been unfaithful to your wife? Many of us have to hang our heads in shame and say “yes.” But for those of you who think that you got off on this one, let's look deeper. In our world today, this godless, sinful, perverted society, to be unfaithful is nothing short of laying with a woman that is not your wife. However, unfaithful also means: failing one’s trust; disloyal. Have you ever failed when your wife trusted in you? Have you ever put your loyalty to someone else above your loyalty to your wife? You know that you are to be “one” with the woman God has joined you with. This other person to whom you were loyal does not have to be someone of the opposite sex; they could be a friend or a family member.

One of the most damaging and conflicting ties can be with your mother or your father. How do we know? Because the Lord Himself made special reference to it: “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh.” Mark 10:6.

Abuse

Abuse my wife? You may deny that you abuse her because you never laid a hand on her. Or you may say you're not an abusive husband because you didn’t throw the first punch. Lets find out what abuse really is.

In the Webster’s dictionary, abuse is defined as: to misuse, to ill-treat, injure, to call someone foul names. Foul is defined as: to bring dishonor, indecent or profane, obnoxious or unpleasant.

Misuse. God has blessed us with a wife. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.” Prov. 18:22. And “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone….” Gen. 2:18.

God certainly had a good reason to bless you with a wife; however, she was not for you to use improperly or incorrectly. Your wife is (or was) a gift from God. Have you treated her that way?

Injure. Also in Webster’s, injure is defined as to inflict a wound or other physical hurt upon, to cause intangible or other physical hurt: to injure someone’s feelings. The Psalmist said, “Let those who are adversaries of my soul be ashamed and consumed; let them be covered with reproach and dishonor, who seek to injure me.” Ps. 71:13. God knows what is done in secret. “For nothing is hidden that shall not become evident, nor anything secret that shall not be known and come to light.” Luke 8:17. Let us not forget what the title verse is, “…the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.” Mal. 2:14.

To call someone foul names. Again, foul is defined as: to bring dishonor, indecent or profane, obnoxious or unpleasant. We just read in the previous chapter “Thrusts of a Sword” about the tongue and the horrible results, which come when a person cannot control the contents of what they say. Unfortunately, many of us would never want to admit that when we say things to our wives that are unpleasant that we are abusing (misusing) what God has given to us. “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” 1Pet. 3:7.

The Violent Man

Does the Bible even mention the violent man?

Yes. Many Scriptures, especially the Psalms, give us insight into the violent man. As a matter of fact, the entire 140th Psalm is about the violent man... “Rescue me, O Lord from evil men; preserve me from violent men, who devise evil things in their hearts; they continually stir up wars. They sharpen their tongues as a serpent; poison of a viper is under their lips. Keep me O Lord, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from violent men who have purposed to trip up my feet.” Ps. 140:1-4. Is this a description of you? Be honest with yourself. Have you ever devised an evil plan against your wife, a way to get even, or teach her a lesson? Do you stir up wars or arguments? Does she ask you to stop speaking cruel words to her? Do you ignore her cries? Do you twist her words and what she is saying for the purpose of tripping her up? If so, then you are a violent man.

The violent man. “The Lord lives and blessed be my rock; and exalted be God the rock of my salvation, the God who executes vengeance for me, and brings down peoples under me, who also brings me out from my enemies; Thou dost even lift me above those who rise up against me; Thou dost rescue me from the violent man.” 2Sam. 22:47-49. The wife who trusts the Lord will see herself rescued from a violent husband. Perhaps this has already happened. Is this why she has left you or asked you to leave? Maybe you are still denying that you are a violent man. Let us look more deeply into the Word of God for more truth.

What does the word “violent” really mean?

Cruel. The word violent in the Greek language is chamac which means to maltreat, make bare, violate, to be cruel, or to cause a false injustice. Be honest with yourself. Does this describe you?

The Lord has been a witness. “Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your wife by covenant. But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit…Take heed then, to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. ‘For I hate divorce’, says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘and him who covers his garment with wrong,’ says the Lord of hosts. So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” Mal. 2:14-16.

Root Causes of Abuse and Misuse Why do I treat my wife this way?

When we violate Biblical principles, we suffer the consequences. There are guidelines for the married man, and violating these guidelines will lay a foundation for insensitivity to the “wife of your youth.”

Cleave to wife. “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Gen. 2:24. Cleaving is defined as “a desperate holding onto.” This is quite clearly not happening today since so many of us leave our wives.

Are you still trying to please or get approval from the family that you should have left? We are to honor our parents, but, clearly, Scripture says that we are also to honor our wife. “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” 1Pet. 3:7.

When you have a division between what your wife may think or feel and what your parents think or feel, what is a man to do? Whom should he honor? Jesus told us by quoting Genesis, “For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh.” Matt. 19:5. He also said, “Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Matt. 19:6.

Still tied. Take a moment to ponder this; perhaps you have not really “left” your mother and/or father. Sure you have left physically, but are you still tied to them since your loyalty has remained with your parents? Leave your parents, cleave to your wife, and rejoice in the wife of your youth! (Prov. 5:18.)

Love. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved….” Eph. 5:25. “So husbands ought also to love their own wives….” Eph. 5:28. “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be embittered against them.” Col. 3:19. Ever since the feminist movement permeated the church with lies, there has been a “blending” of the roles and commandments given to men and women. We continue to hear others say that God commanded men and women to love their spouses. This “command” was only given to the husband. Actually, the only “reference” for a woman to love her husband is given in Titus, where the older woman is encouraged to teach the younger to love her husband and her children. “You shall not add to the word which I am commanding you….” Deut. 4:2. Does that mean a wife isn’t to love her husband? Emphatically no! “…and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us….” Eph. 5:2.

Since our wife is asked to respect and submit to us, we should make it easy for her by loving her as we are commanded to in Ephesians 5. Does your wife have trouble respecting you? Pray for opportunities to gain her respect. Do something that would require character, humility or some other attribute that may be lacking in you.

In short, show her a godly man. The result will be a deep love for you. “We love, because He first loved us.” 1John 4:19. Our wives will love us because of our love for God. When we follow His commands, we will become more like Him.

Separate us? A husband who shows true love for his wife, the way he is commanded, will be protected from separation or divorce. “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?” Rom. 8:35.

Love controls us. Your love for your wife will motivate her to do as you ask, just as love is our children’s motivation to obey us as their parents. “For the  love of Christ controls us….” 2Cor. 5:14.

Walk in love. Saying you love her is not enough. Sometimes our actions speak louder than our words. “…and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us….” Eph. 5:2. If you live separately from your wife, begin now to treat her the way you should. Show her the love that is described in 1 Corinthians chapter 13, which is unconditional, non-judgmental whenever you have an opportunity to see, write or talk to her.

One flesh. “So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. And the LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. And the man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.’ ” Gen. 2:21. “AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh.” Mark 10:8. “Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Matt. 19:6.

A woman doesn't desire physical oneness as much as she desires her husband to be “one” with her emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. Do you and your wife have the same goals and directions? Did you allow or encourage division in your home? Did you encourage your wife to pursue a degree or career that has eventually caused division? God created woman to help and complete the man. Once a marriage takes place, they are “no longer two, but one flesh.” This means that they live their lives together in one accord. They are not to live as “roommates” with each having their own life apart from the other.

Man independent of woman? We are to be one flesh in our heart and our desires. God created women with certain needs, and we, as men, also have needs. The voids in my life and in my wife's life were created as a type of working gear that fits together perfectly as we meet each other's needs.

When we fill our voids ourselves or apart from our wife, the gear slips. The more we fill or the more our wife fills her voids inappropriately, the more our relationship slips until there is nothing left to hang on to. The world tells our wives to fulfill their needs and to let us as men fend for ourselves. Co-dependency is a popular psychological fad these days to convince us that it is not good for a husband and wife to be dependent upon each other. But what does God's Word say about our dependency for one another as a married couple?

“However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as the woman originates from the man.” 1Cor. 11:11-12. When we violate God’s ways, we reap the consequences. Pray for opportunities to meet your wife’s needs right now, even if you are not in the home.

In toil. “Then to Adam He said, ‘Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat from it’; Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life.” Gen. 3:17. After the fall of man, the man and the woman were each given a punishment. The woman was given pain in childbirth, and the man was to toil the ground or work. So why is the man’s punishment now shared by both the man and the woman?

When women earn their own money apart from their husband’s, they can make their own decisions about how it is to be spent. When wives have a different career than that of the home and children, it divides the couple's interests and makes them independent from each other. This is exactly what happens when wives work outside the home as a second provider.

Protector. When your wife protects herself because she feels she can (or has to) “fight her own battles,” why does she need you? Is it your wife who tells that salesperson off or gets rid of “that guy at the door?” Have you forgotten how to handle these situations? Who really wears the pants in the family; who really is stronger?

We must acknowledge that many times our wives have taken over because of our neglect. Either we didn’t take on the challenge, or we were absent because of our job, hobby or whatever. Once you can acknowledge this, you will be able to confess your shortcomings as a protector to your wife. You must then begin to take on each challenge that comes against your family. You might say that you would attack anyone trying to kill a member of your family, but what about the bad waiter at the restaurant, the rude repairman? What about your disrespectful teenager? Do you allow attacks on your wife? Are your children keenly aware that they would have you to contend with if they even looked the wrong way at their mother? Even if you are living apart, pray for an opportunity to show her your ability to protect her.

Ask their own husbands at home. Men, are you the leader in spiritual matters? Does your wife run to ask you what you think as the spiritual leader, or would she say, “Why would I go to him?” “What does he know, I'm the one going to all the Bible studies, seminars, and even sitting on all the church committees!” Her desire is for you to be the spiritual leader. “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.” Prov. 31:23.

But many of us seem to have more important things to do than to lead our family spiritually, like playing a sport, working at hobbies, hunting, watching television or a movie, or just meeting the “guys.” After all, if your wife or children have a spiritual question, they have the pastor or the Sunday school teacher to go to for answers. “And if they desire to learn anything, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is improper for a woman to speak in church.” 1Cor. 14:35. Take the time now to get into God's Word and prepare yourself.

Father. Husbands clearly have been pushed out of their role as fathers. Many men are criticized for the way they handle, or treat, the children so often that they just stop “interfering.” God gave each of us a mother and a father with their distinct characteristics so we could grow up without a bunch of hang-ups or emotional troubles. Children need both parents. But, again, if the roles are blended and blurred, who needs a father? “Honor your father and mother; and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Matt. 19:19. When you have your children with you, keep them in line and teach them to obey and show respect to their mother when they are with her. (This goes for children of any age: 5, 15, or 25!)

Who should be the Spiritual Leader?

One question many women ask is: “Who should be the Spiritual Leader since my husband won’t or doesn’t do it?” Or, many women will state, “I have to be the Spiritual leader of our home because my husband is not even a Christian!” Why are so many men neglecting or forfeiting their position as the spiritual head of their family?

Her husband is known. All Christian women desire their husband to be the spiritual leader. “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.” Prov. 31: 23. Women many times have had to take over the leadership positions. The world's philosophy has destroyed our nation, and it is destroying the church. Men have neglected their positions in the church. They have left to pursue other interests. When men left the church, many of the wives fell into the hands of liberated pastors that have taken many women captive. “For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.” 2Tim. 3:6-7.

Good for nothing. Too many churches are now overrun, for the most part, with weak men and strong women. This is causing ineffectiveness in the church because many of the men are MIA! “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how will it be made salty again? It is good for nothing anymore, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.” Matt. 5:13. Get totally involved in church if you have lost your family. Do it now while you have the time.

Be subject to your own husbands in everything. Men have you looked to your wife to lead your family? “Wives be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord…to their husbands in everything.” Eph. 5:22-24. It is clear from the above Scripture that God has put all husbands in the Spiritual leadership role of the home. Let’s see what happens when things get out of order.

No one can serve two masters. When men neglect to lead their families and to take responsibility for what goes on in their homes, their wife and children will begin to hate them. Remember, you have turned over most of your responsibility to other people or institutions. Why would they listen to you? “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will hold to one and despise the other.” Matt. 6:24.

You often see this when a child who once listened to his parents is sent off to school. All of a sudden, they tell their parents what their teacher said is right and they are now wrong. Some men send their sons and daughters off to college, along with their money (as the bumper sticker says), when those kids return home for break, they treat their fathers like the town idiot! (See Chapter 14 “Father’s Instruction” in A Wise Man.)

He will do it. Does your wife act as though she is your personal Holy Spirit? Why does she do this? Again, because of your neglect and your stupidity on Spiritual matters. Does your wife know her Bible better than you do? Or worse, are your children better versed in Scripture than you are? Do you as the father make sure that your children are in Sunday school or pay for Christian school, but neglected to know the stuff yourself?

If you think it is too late or that you are too far behind to get ahead of your wife and children to properly lead them, you are wrong. Since God has called you to be the leader of your home, He will enable you to do so.

We must confess our sin of neglect. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” James 5:16. Confess to your wife and children. Then pray for opportunities to lead them spiritually. Talk to your children about the Lord and tell them how He's helping you.

Boast about our weaknesses. “And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” 2Cor. 12:9. When your wife attacks you and points out your failures – jump in, agree with her and boast. This is humility in action!

And above all, trust the Lord. “Commit your way to the lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it.” Ps. 37:5. If you want to begin leading your family spiritually, begin first with a time of prayer. Then begin reading your Bible regularly. God will lead you and direct your paths if your efforts are sincere.

Washing of water with the Word. Men, you must be extremely careful about what you say to your wife, what you read to your wife, and what you encourage her to look at. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless.” Eph. 5:25-27.

If you are separated or divorced, read your verses out loud. Then ask the Lord to wash her where she is. Continue after you are together. This is what Hosea did with Gomer: “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness, and speak kindly to her…For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, so that they will be mentioned by their names no more.” Hosea 2:14, 17.

You may complain about her nagging or lying or the way she gets into crazy conflicts with you; yet, do you ever stop to think what you are watching as a family every day on television? Is it the stupid sitcom programs where the men are portrayed as buffoons and the women are all contentious comedians? What movies do you saturate your wife and children in? What type of movies are you watching? The next time you, your wife, or your family sits down to watch anything, just think of it as a “training film.” The behavior you and your family are watching will be learned and acted out!

The narrow gate. Men, go through the narrow gate and stop spending so much time watching the television. Stop sending your weekly or monthly dues to Hollywood, via the movie theater or video store. “Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it.” Matt. 7:13.

Stop making lame excuses to cover up your compromising leadership. Spend your time delighting yourself in the Lord. Remember, He promises to give you the desires of your heart. (Ps. 37:4.)

Practicing your righteousness before men. Do you go to church just to let others see the man that you are pretending to be? “Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.” Matt. 6:1. Our actions must be an outpouring of what is in us.

You will know them by their fruits. What are your fruits as a Christian? “You will know them by their fruits.” Matt. 7:16. If you, as the husband and father, are not leading your family daily in the Word, then you are producing thorns, not fruit. Do you read your Bible daily? If so, for how long? Compare the time you spend reading the newspaper or the sports page versus reading the Word. Are you able to comprehend anything that you are reading in this book? Can anyone see any change in you as a result of reading this book?

“For if anyone is a hearer of the Word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man shall be blessed in what he does.” James 1:23-25. I heard a preacher just recently ask by a show of hands how many people believed what they read in the newspaper. Hardly anyone raised a hand. Then he asked them how many believed that the Bible was true. Virtually everyone raised their hand. Then he said, "Why do you spend more time reading what you don't believe than what you do believe?"

Bridle his tongue. “If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless.” James 1:23-25. We just covered the importance of your wife being washed by the water of the Word. Do you read the Scriptures to her daily or ever? When was the last time you spewed unkind words at her? We must get control of our violent and hurtful tongues!

The savior. “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.” Eph. 5:23. The husband is the Savior of the body. Maybe you think your wife is to be the savior. When there is a financial crisis (or any crisis), it’s the man who should “save the day.” Don't encourage your wife to run out to get a job or make a financial plan. This is only robbing you of a blessing. Men, you must fulfill your role as the head of the home and the savior of the body. Pray for the Lord to bless you financially, and then turn around and bless your wife with your abundance.

Created to carry the burdens. You were created to carry the burdens of the family. Just look at your broad and muscular shoulders compared to your wife's shoulders. Women have even tried to imitate those shoulders with shoulder pads! Men are really designed to work best under pressure. Maybe you think you can’t handle the pressures because you’ve always had your wife as your safety net.

A woman was created to handle many things at once. She has the home with each facet – each child, their various ages, personalities, needs; the meals, the cleaning, the continual tidying, the projects. Women seem like they can do it all. But while they are pretending to do it all, what are we doing? Sadly enough, we're usually playing sports or watching television.

Feeds us. You know that you are supposed to “bring home the bacon,” but there is spiritual food that your children and your wife are literally starving for! “…for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church….” Eph. 5:29. This feeding must be from “God’s Word.” Most men feel inadequate in this area. Many don’t know where to begin. Pray to the Lord for strength and guidance daily! Satan will attack you in this area because he knows how important this area is to regaining leadership of your family. He will make you feel worthless, incapable, and downright stupid. I know. He did with me! He will use strife with your wife and children to stop your times of reading God’s Word. Are you man enough to fight back in the spirit?

Begin to win one battle at a time to gain the momentum you need to become victorious in this area of your family's spiritual life. Don’t just send them off to Bible studies, seminars, Sunday school and Vacation Bible School. To be an effective leader in your home, you must resist the temptation to give your leadership over to others. If you feel you don’t have enough time, pray that God will show you where you should cut back and how you should feed your family daily from God’s Word. Do it now. Pray just a short prayer, and then obey. It would be wise to write God’s plan down on a piece of paper and put it in a place where you will continually see it.

Personal Commitment: To stop living treacherously with my wife. “Based on what I have learned in Scripture, I commit to renew my mind with the truth. I confess that I have lived with my wife in a treacherous way and I am seeking God for the power to change. I am also committing to washing my wife in the Word and to leading my family spiritually.”

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