Have you left your first love? Who is your first love? Was your wife your first love? Was it sports or a hobby? Was your job or your career first in your life? Who or what is really first in your life? “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.” Matt. 10:37. The Scripture in Revelation says: “But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.” Rev. 2:4.

Het jy jou eerste liefde verlaat? Wie is jou eerste liefde? Was jou vrou jou eerste liefde? Was dit sports of ‘n stokperdjie? Was jou werk of jou beroep eerste in jou lewe?? Wie of wat is regtig eerste in jou lewe? “Hy wat sy vader of moeder liewer het as vir My, is nie werd om aan My te behoort nie; hy wat sy seun of dogter liewer het as vir My, is nie werd om aan My te behoort nie.” Matt. 10:37. Die Bybel in Die Openbaring sê: “Maar Ek het dit teen julle: julle het My nie meer so lief soos in die begin nie.” Open. 2:4.

What is our Lord saying to us? He is saying that any time we put someone or something ahead of our love for or our relationship with Him, then we are not worthy of His Love.

Wat sê die Here vir ons? Hy sê dat as ons iemand of enigiets bo ons liefde of ‘n verhouding met Hom plaas, dan is ons Sy Liefde nie waardig nie.

Seek first. You are to put Him first in your priorities, first in your day and first in your heart. “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matt. 6:33. When, if ever, has the Lord been first in your life?

Soek eers. Jy moet Hom eerste prioriteit in jou lewe plaas, eerste in jou dag en eerste in jou hart. “ Maar soek eers die koninkryk van God en sy geregtigheid, en al hierdie dinge sal vir julle bygevoeg word.” Matt. 6:33. Wanneer, indien ooit, was die Here eerste in jou lewe?

Dirty rags. Ask yourself these questions: Do the things I put first have eternal value? Will what I do today help to increase His kingdom? Am I seeking after His righteousness or trying to muster up my own righteousness? Remember, our righteousness is like dirty rags! (Is. 64:6.)

‘n Besoedelde kleed. Vra jouself hierdie vrae: Het dit wat ek eerste stel in my lewe enige waarde? Sal wat ek vandag doen Sy koningkryk bevorder? Soek ek na God se geregtigheid of probeer ek my eie geregtigheid soek? “Onthou, ons geregtighede is soos ‘n besoedelde kleed!” (Jes. 64:6.) 

What happens when you put someone ahead of the Lord? What does He do to draw you back to Him? If you have put your wife ahead of your love for the Lord, then it was the Lord who has taken your wife from you.  “Thou hast removed my acquaintances far from me; Thou hast made me an object of loathing to them. Thou has removed lover and friend far from me; my acquaintances are in darkness.” Ps. 88:8,18. And don’t make marriage restoration first in your life; you must make the Lord first in your life!

Wat gebeur wanneer ons iemand voor die Here plaas? Wat doen Hy om jou terug te trek na Hom toe? As jy jou vrou voor jou liefde vir die Here geplaas het, dan was dit die Here wat jou vrou van jou af weggeneem het. “ U het my bekendes ver van my verwyder, my iets afskuweliks gemaak vir hulle; ek is ingesluit en kan nie uitkom nie. U  het vriend en metgesel ver an my verwyder, my bekendes is duisternis” Ps. 88:9,19. En moet nie huweliks herstel eerste in jou lewe maak nie; jy moet die Here eerste in jou lewe maak!

“If You Love Me…Obey”
“As Jy My liefhet …Gehoorsaam”

After you put God first in your life, you must then cast down the false doctrine that says “you are saved by grace, so it’s really OKAY to sin, because we are no longer under the Law.” Let’s search the Scriptures:

Nadat jy God eerste in jou lewe geplaas het, moet jy valse leerstelling verwerp wat sê dat “jy is deur genade gered, so dit is REG om te sondig, omdat ons nie meer onder die Wet is nie.” Kom ons ondersoek die Bybel:  

Do your deeds deny Him? “They profess to know God, but their deeds deny Him, being detestable and disobedient and worthless for any good deed.” Titus 1:16.

Weerspreek jy God deur jou werke? Hulle gee voor dat hulle God ken, maar hulle dade weerspreek dit. Hulle is verfoeilik en koppig en deug vir geen goeie werk nie.” Titus 1:16.

Do you do what His Word says? “Why do you call Me, Lord, and do not do what I say?” Luke 6:46.

Doen jy wat Sy Woord sê? “Watter sin het dit dat julle My aanspreek met ‘Here, Here!’ en nie doen wat Ek sê nie?” Lukas 6:46.

Are we to continue in sin? “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace might increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?” “What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? May it never be!” Rom. 6:1-2,15.

Moet ons aanhou sonde doen? “Wat moet ons nou hiervan sê? Moet ons aanhou sonde doen sodat die genade kan toeneem? Beslis nie. Hoe kan ons wat dood is vir die sonde, nog daarin voortlewe? Wat beteken dit? Kan ons nou maar sonde doen omdat ons nie onder die wet van Moses staan nie maar onder die genade? Beslis nie.” Rom. 6:1-2,15.

Faith without works is dead. “What use is it, my brethren, if a man says he has faith, but he has no works? Can that faith save him?” “For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead.” Jas. 2:14,26. Good works are the “fruits” of our salvation. These are the questions we must ask ourselves:

Geloof wat nie tot dade kom nie is dood. Wat help dit, my broers, as iemand beweer dat hy glo, maar sy dade bevestig dit nie? Kan so 'n geloof 'n mens red? 'n Liggaam wat nie asemhaal nie, is dood. So is die geloof wat nie tot dade kom nie, ook dood. Jak. 2:14, 26. Goeie werke is die “vrugte” van ons redding. Hierdie is die vrae wat ons onsself moet vra?

Do my deeds deny that I follow the Lord?

Ontken my dade dat ek die Here volg?

Does grace give me a license to sin?

Gee genade my ‘n lisensie om te sondig?

Am I, as a believer, to produce good works?

Moet ek, as 'n gelowige, goeie werke produseer?

I never knew you. Many believe that you can live any way you wish and then enter into heaven once you die. Is this true? “Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you who practice lawlessness.’ ” Matt. 7:22-23. The answer then is “no!”

Ek het julle nooit geken nie. Baie sal daardie dag vir My sê: ‘Here, Here, het ons dan nie in u Naam gepreek nie, deur u Naam bose geeste uitgedryf en deur u Naam baie wonders gedoen nie?’ Dan sal Ek openlik vir hulle sê: Ek het julle nooit geken nie. Gaan weg van My af, julle wat die wet van God oortree.’ ” Matt. 7:22-23. Die antwoord is dan “nee! ”

Confess your sins. If this is the mind that you had, prior to learning these Scriptures, do as Scripture says: “Therefore, confess your sins one to another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed.” Jas. 5:16

Bely julle sondes. As dit die verstand is wat jy gehad het , voordat jy hierdie Skriftuur geleer het, does soos wat die Skriftuur sê: “Bely julle sondes eerlik teenoor mekaar en bid vir mekaar, sodat julle gesond kan word. Die gebed van 'n gelowige het 'n kragtige uitwerking. “ Jak. 5:16

Obedience to His Word
Gehoorsaamheid aan Sy Woord

“Wisdom shouts in the street, she lifts her voice in the square. At the head of the noisy streets she cries out; at the entrance to the gate in the city, she utters her sayings, how long, O naive ones, will you love simplicity. And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing, and fools hate knowledge. Turn to my reproof, behold, I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you.

“Wysheid is 'n vrou wat langs die straat staan en roep, sy laat haar stem hoor op die stadspleine, sy roep bo die rumoer uit, by die ingange van die stadspoorte sê sy wat sy te sê het: “Julle onkundiges, hoe lank gaan julle nog vashou aan julle onkunde, gaan die grootpraters hulle pratery geniet en die swape 'n afkeer hê van kennis? As julle luister na my teregwysing, gee ek julle my wysheid in oorvloed en leer ek julle my woorde begryp.

“Because I called and you refused; I stretched out my hand, and no one paid attention; and you neglected all my counsel, and did not want my reproof; I will even laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your dread comes, when your dread comes on like a storm, and your calamity comes on like a whirlwind, when distress and anguish come on you.

“Ek het geroep en julle wou nie luister nie, ek het my hand uitgesteek en julle het dit nie gegryp nie. Julle het my raad alles in die wind geslaan, julle wou julle nie laat teregwys nie. Daarom sal ek lag as die ongeluk julle tref, ek sal met julle spot wanneer die angs julle oorval, wanneer daar nood en kwelling oor julle kom. Die angs sal soos 'n storm oor julle kom, die ongeluk sal julle tref soos 'n orkaan.

“Then they will call on me but I will not answer; they will seek me diligently, but they will not find me, because they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the Lord. They would not accept my counsel, they spurned all my reproof. So they shall eat of the fruit of their own way, and be satiated with their own devices. For the waywardness of the naive shall kill them, and the complacency of fools shall destroy them. But he who listens to me shall live securely, and shall be at ease from the dread of evil.” Prov. 1:20-33. Seek wisdom!

“Dán sal julle my roep en ek sal nie antwoord nie, julle sal my soek en my nie kry nie. Julle het 'n afkeer van kennis gehad, julle het geweier om die Here te dien, julle het my raad verontagsaam en elke teregwysing van my geminag. Julle sal die vrugte van julle optrede pluk, julle sal van julle eie planne walg. “Die onkundiges se dwaling kos hulle die dood, die dwase word vernietig deur hulle selfversekerdheid, maar wie na my luister, sal veilig wees en hoef geen ramp te vrees nie.” Spr. 1:20-33. Soek wysheid!

Obedience comes from the heart. “…you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed.” Rom. 6:17. And again, “for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1Sam 16:7.

Gehoorsaamheid kom uit die hart. “...maar van harte gehoorsaam geword het aan die voorbeld van die leer wat aan julle oorgelewer is” Rom. 6:17. En weer, “die mens kyk na die uiterlike, maar die Here na die innerlike.” 1 Sam 16:7.

Obedience needs testing. “Do not be surprised at the fiery trial which comes upon you for your testing.” 1Pet. 4:12. Obedience purifies your soul. “Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls….” 1Pet. 1:22.

Gehoorsaamheid moet beproef word. “Geliefdes, verbaas julle nie oor die vuurgloed van vervolging onder julle wat tot julle beproewing dien, asof iets vreemds oor julle kom nie.” 1Pet. 4:12. Gehoorsaamheid reinig jou siel. “As julle in gehoorsaamheid aan die waarheid julle siele deur die Gees tot ongeveinsde broederliefde gereinig het…” 1 Pet. 1:22

Obedience gives testimony of who your Father is. “Obey My voice and I will be your God, and you will be My people; and you will walk in all the way in which I command you, that it may be well with you. Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but walked in their own counsels and in the stubbornness of their evil heart, and went backward and not forward.” Jer. 7:23-24.

Gehoorsaamheid gee ‘n getuigskrif van wie jou Vader is. “Maar wat Ek hulle beveel het, is: Julle moet My gehoorsaam. Dan sal Ek julle God wees en julle sal my volk wees. Maar julle moet leef soos Ek julle beveel sodat dit met julle goed kan gaan. Maar hulle het nie geluister nie en hulle aan My nie gesteur nie. Hulle was hardkoppig en moedswillig, hulle het hulle eie kop gevolg, sodat hulle versleg het in plaas van te verbeter.” Jer. 7:23-24.

Your disobedience actually praises the wicked. “Those who forsake the law PRAISE the wicked, but those who keep the law strive with them.” Prov. 28:4. The prayers of the disobedient go unheard. “He who turns away his ear from listening to the law, even his prayer is an abomination.” Prov. 28:9.

Julle ongehoorsaamheid prys die goddelose. “Wie die wet van die Here verontagsaam, praat met LOF van goddelose mense; wie die wet onderhou, beveg hulle.” Spr. 28:4. Die gebede van die ongehoorsames gaan ongehoord. As iemand hom doof hou vir die wet van die Here, sal die Here 'n afsku hê van so 'n man se gebed.” Spr. 28:9.

Our Example of Obedience Is Jesus
Ons Voorbeeld van Gehoorsaamheid Is Jesus

He was obedient even unto death. “He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Phil. 2:5-11. “Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered.” Heb. 5:7-10. Could it be said of you that you, too, are learning obedience through the sufferings that you are experiencing?

Hy was gehoorsaam tot die dood toe. “Hy het Homself verneder deur gehoorsaam te word tot die dood toe, ja, die dood van die kruis” Fil. 2:5-11. “Hy, al was Hy die Seun, het gehoorsaamheid geleer uit wat Hy gely het” Heb. 5:7-10. Kan dit van jou gesê word dat jy, ook, gehoorsaamheid leer deur die lyding wat jy ervaar?

He was obedient and submissive to His authority. “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but Thou wilt. My Father, if this cannot pass away unless I drink it, Thy will be done.” Matt. 26:39, 42.

Hy was gehoorsaam en onderdanig aan Sy gesag. “My Vader, as dit moontlik is, laat hierdie beker by My verbygaan; nogtans nie soos Ek wil nie, maar soos U wil. My Vader, as hierdie beker nie by My kan verbygaan sonder dat Ek dit drink nie, laat u wil geskied” Matt. 26:39, 42.

Are you in submission to your authority? “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” 1Cor. 11:3. If you are like many Christian men, you are quick to point out your wife’s lack of submissiveness to you. But are you setting a good example of submissiveness to your authority, which is Christ? Do you follow and seek Him? Do you follow after His commands in tithing, leading your family spiritually and in the way you treat (or treated) your wife  (as the weaker vessel, in an understanding way)?

Is jy onderdanig aan jou gesag? “ Ek wil egter hê julle moet weet dat Christus die hoof is van elke man, en 'n man die hoof van sy vrou, en God die hoof van Christus.” 1Kor. 11:3. As jy soos baie Christen mans, gou is om jou vrou se tekort aan gesag aan jou uit te wys. Maar stel jy ‘n goeie voorbeeld van onderdanigheid aan jou gesag, wie Christus is? Volg en soek jy Hom? Volg jy sy bevele in tiendes, jou familie geestelik te lei en op die manier wat jy jou vrou behandel (of behandel het) (as die swakker geslag, op ‘n verstandige manier)?

The secret to success. “All the paths of the Lord are lovingkindness and truth to those who keep His covenant and His testimonies. For Thy name’s sake, O Lord, pardon my iniquity, for it is great. Who is the man who fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way he should choose. His soul will abide in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land. The secret of the Lord is for those who fear Him.” Ps. 25:10-15. The only way to treat your wife with the lovingkindness due her is to fear the Lord. This is the secret that so few men know. For if a man has a true and genuine fear of God, then he is a true follower of the Word and of Christ.

Die geheim van sukses. Liefde en trou is die paaie wat die Here bewandel met dié wat sy verbond en verordeninge bewaar. Ter wille van u Naam, Here, vergewe my my sonde, want dit is groot. Ter wille van u Naam, Here, vergewe my my sonde, want dit is groot. sodat hy voorspoed sal geniet en sy nageslag die land sal bly bewoon. Die Here neem dié wat Hom dien, in sy vertroue en maak sy verbond aan hulle bekend.” Ps. 25:12-25. Die enigste manier om jou vrou te behandel met die liefde wat haar toekom is om die Here te vrees. Dit is die geheim wat so min mans ken. Want as ‘n man ‘n ware en egte vrees vir God het, dan is hy ‘n ware navolger van die Woord en van Christus.

Self-condemned. Unfortunately, most men dispute or argue the true meaning of the Scriptures -- missing the blessings of a life wholly devoted to the Lord. “But shun foolish controversies and genealogies and strife and disputes about the Law; for they are unprofitable and worthless. Reject a factious man after a first and second warning, knowing that such a man is perverted and is sinning, being self-condemned.” Titus 3:9-11.

Oordeel oor homself. Ongelukkig, dispuut of stry meeste mans oor die ware betekenis van die Bybel -- en mis die seëninge van ‘n lewe wat ten volle aan die Here gewys is. “Maar jy moet jou nie inlaat met dwase strydvrae en geslagsregisters en met getwis en stryery oor die wet van Moses nie, want dit is nutteloos en sinloos. Met iemand wat na twee vermanings nog skeuring veroorsaak, moet jy niks te doen hê nie, omdat jy weet dat so 'n man op die verkeerde pad is. Deur sy sonde bring hy die oordeel oor homself.” Titus 3:9-11.

Turn aside to myths. Instead of searching for the truth, many want others to agree with their wrong ideas or decisions: “But wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires; and will turn aside to myths.” 2Tim. 4:3-4.

Hulle sal wend tot fabels. In plaas van na die waarheid soek, wil menige saam stem met ander se verkeerde idees of besluite. “Omdat hulle in hulle gehoor gestreel wil wees, vir hulle ‘n menigte leraars sal versamel volgens hulle eie begeerlikhede, en die oor sal afkeer van die waarheid en hulle sal hulle wend tot fabels.” 2Tim. 4:3-4.

Obedience to His Word. “Do not be as the horse or as the mule which have no understanding, whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check, otherwise they will not come near to you.” Ps. 32:9. If you don’t obey His commandments in your daily pursuits and in your dealings with your wife, He will discipline you. “The Lord has disciplined me severely, but He has not given me over to death. I shall not die but live, and tell of the works of the Lord.” Ps. 118:18,17. Don’t waste your time looking at your wife’s faults and blaming her for your marriage troubles, it is YOU He is disciplining, by turning your wife’s heart away from you. This is the reason for her indifference to you.

Gehoorsaamheid aan Sy Woord. “Wees nie soos ‘n perd, soos ‘n muilesel wat geen verstand het, wat ‘n mens moet tem meet toom en teul as sy tuig, anders kom hy nie naby jou nie” Ps. 32:9. As jy nie Sy gebooie gehoorsaam in jou daalikse strewes en in jou omgang met jou vrou nie, sal Hy jou dissiplineer. “ Die Here het my hard gekasty, maar my aan die dood nie oorgegee nie. Ek sal nie sterwe nie, maar lewe en die werke van die Here vertel.” Ps. 118:18,17. Moet nie jou tyd mors om na jou vrou se foute te kyk en haar te blameer vir jou huweliks moeilikhede nie, dit is JY vir wie Hy dissiplineer, deur jou vrou se hart van jou af weg te draai. Dit is die rede vir haar gebrek aan belangstelling vir jou.

God is faithful to His Word. “If his sons forsake My law, and do not walk in My judgments, If they violate My statutes, and do not keep My commandments, then I will visit their transgressions with a rod, and their iniquity with stripes.” Ps. 89:30-34. If you continue in rebellion to God’s Word or your authority, Jesus Christ, who was meek and lowly, then God will continue to punish you.” Ps. 89:30-34. 

God is getrou aan Sy Woord. “As sy kinders my wet verlaat en in my regte nie wandel nie; as hulle my insettinge ontheilig en my gebooie nie hou nie, dan sal ek hulle oortreding met die roede besoek en met plae hulle ongeregtigheid” Ps. 89:30-34. As jy volhard in rbellie teenoor God se Woord of jou gesag, Jesus Christus, wie sagmoedig en nederig was, dan sal God voortgaan om jou te straf.” Ps. 89: 30-34.

Keep your Eyes Focused on the Lord
Hou jou Oë op die Here gefokus

Whom do you want to please? You are to try and please the Lord, rather than your wife or anyone else in your life. “When a man’s ways are pleasing to the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.” Prov. 16:7. “Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart.” Prov. 37:4.

In wie wil jy jou behaag? Jy moet Jy moet probeer om jou in die Here te behaag, eerder as jou vrou of enigiemand anders in jou lewe. As die HERE tevrede is met 'n mens se lewe, laat Hy selfs so 'n mens se vyande in vrede met hom lewe.” Spr. 16:7. “ Vind jou vreugde in die HERE, en Hy sal jou gee wat jou hart begeer.” Spr. 37:4.

The truth is, when you do what is right by the Lord’s standards, you will see your wife’s heart turning back to you. However, if don’t begin to notice a more peaceful atmosphere when conversing with your wife, then you are either still preoccupied and obsessed with her, or you are harboring a self-righteous spirit.

Die waarheid is, wanneer jy doen wat reg is by die Here se standaarde, sal jy sien hoe jou vrou se hart terug draai na jou toe. Nietemin, as jy nie begin om ‘n meer vreedsame atmosfeer agter te kom wanneer jy met jou vrou gesels nie, dan is jy of nog steeds behep en obsessief met haar, of jy hawe ‘n gees van eie geregtigheid.

Why not try and please my wife? That was man’s first mistake. Let’s look at some scriptural facts. “When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.” Gen. 3:6. Why would Adam eat the fruit when he knew it was wrong?

Waarom nie probeer om my vrou te behaag nie? Dit was die mens se eerste fout. Kom ons kyk na feite in die Bybel. “Toe besef die vrou dat die boom se vrugte goed is om te eet en mooi om na te kyk en begeerlik omdat dit kennis kan gee. En sy het van sy vrugte gepluk en geëet. Sy het ook vir haar man by haar gegee, en hy het geëet.” Gen. 3:6. Waarom sou Adam die vrugte eet as hy geweet het dit is verkeerd.

Man sinned knowingly. It's important to note that the woman was not created until Gen. 2:22, five verses later. We never see God commanding Eve directly. The point is that Eve was deceived. Adam knowingly sinned.

Die mens het wetend gesondig. Dit is belangrik om te noteer dat die vrou nie geskep was tot Gen. 2:22, vyf verse later. Ons sien nooit dat God Eva direk beveel het nie. Die punt is dat Eva was mislei. Adam het wetend gesondig.

Woman was created for man. God gave Adam dominion over all living things in the garden, including Eve. Eve was created for Adam, not the other way around. “…for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake.” 1Cor. 11:9. “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.’ ” Gen. 2:18.

Die vrou vir die man geskep. God het vir Adam heerskappy oor alle lewende dinge in die tuin gegee, insluitend Eva. Eva was vir Adam geskep, nie die ander kant om nie. “... Die man is ook nie ter wille van die vrou geskep nie, maar die vrou ter wille van die man.” 1Kor. 11:9. “Verder het die Here God gesê: “Dit is nie goed dat die mens alleen is nie. Ek sal vir hom iemand maak wat hom kan help, sy gelyke.’ ” Gen. 2:18.

Adam never stopped Eve, though he was with her. “…and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.” Gen. 3:6. Why? Why did he also eat it? Is it possible that Adam was trying to please his wife?

Adam het nooit vir Eva gekeer nie, alhoewel hy by haar was. “...Sy het ook vir haar man by haar gegee, en hy het geëet.” Gen. 3:6. Waarom? Waarom het hy dit ook geeet? Is dit moontlik dat Adam probeer het om sy vrou te behaag?

Why didn't he stop her? Did he just want to let her do what she wanted even though in his heart he knew it was a mistake? What about you? Do you do things just to please your wife, not even considering what God thinks about it? Have you many times let your wife (or your children) do things that in your heart you knew was a mistake? The consequences may be that now she is in deep sin and out from under your protection and authority.

Waarom het hy haar nie gekeer nie? Het hy haar net laat doen wat sy wou alhoewel hy in sy hart geweet het dat dit ‘n fout was? Wat van jou? Doen jy dinge net om jou vrou te behaag, en nie eens te oorweeg wat God daarvan dink nie? Het jy baie keer dat jou vrou (of jou kinders) dinge doen wat jy in jou hart geweet het ‘n fout was? Die nagevolge mag wees dat nou is sy in diep sonde en uit van onder jou beskerming en gesag.

However, do not allow this truth to make you puffed up as one who is superior so that an attitude of control and aggressiveness should take over. This insight should bring you to a place of humility as you reflect upon how you have failed to lead and protect your wife and now find yourself in the situation you are in today.

Nietemin, moet nie toelaat dat hierdie waarheid jou opgepof maak soos een wat superieur is sodat ‘n houding van beheer en aggressiwiteit sou oorneem nie. Hierdie insig behoort jou op ‘n plek van nederigheid te bring soos wat jy terug kyk oor hoe jy misluk het om jou vrou te lei en beskerm en jouself nou in die situasie vind waarin jy vandag is.

What does Adam do when things go wrong? When confronted by God after he sinned, what does Adam do? “And the man said, ‘The woman whom Thou gavest to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.’ ” Gen. 3:12. He blames Eve. It was her fault! The bottom line is that he also blames God! Well, there is no doubt Eve was wrong to eat the fruit. But why isn’t she blamed for the fall of man if she ate it first and then gave it to Adam? Why is sin not passed down through her?

Wat doen Adam wanneer dinge verkeerd gaan? Wanneer hy deur God konfronteer word nadat hy gesondig het, wat doen Adam? “Die mens het geantwoord: “Die vrou wat U my gegee het om my by te staan, sy het vir my van die boom se vrugte gegee, en ek het geëet.’ ” Gen. 3:12. Hy blameer Eva. Dit was haar skuld! Die punt is dat hy ook vir God blameer! Wel, daar is geen twyfel dat Eva verkeerd was om die vrugte te eet nie. Maar waarom word sy nie blameer vir die val van die man as sy dit eerste geeet het en toe vir Adam gegee het nie? Waar is die sonde nie deur haar aangegee nie?

“Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned…” Rom. 5:12. In the same way it was through YOUR sin, that sin entered your house. Was it your sin of anger? Was it your sin of neglect? Or was it your sin of self-indulgence? If you had been the proper husband, spiritual leader, and man of the position you are in today?

“Verder nog dít: Deur een mens het die sonde in die wêreld gekom en deur die sonde die dood, en so het die dood tot al die mense deurgedring, omdat almal gesondig het…” Rom. 5:12. Op dieselfde manier was dit deur JOU sonde, die sonde wat in jou huis gekom het. Was dit jou sonde van woede? Was dit jou sonde van afskeep? Of was dit jou sonde van self toegeeflikheid? As jy ‘n behoorlike man was, ‘n geestelike leier, en die man van die posisie waarin jy vandag is?

Eve was deceived, but Adam knew. Adam was ultimately responsible and accountable before God for the sin committed, not Eve. “Then to Adam He said, ‘Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat from it….’ ” Gen. 3:17. As men, we are the ones who are ultimately responsible for our marriages and families.

Eva was mislei, maar Adam het geweet. Adam was uitermatiglik verantwoordelik en aanspreeklik voor God vir die sonde wat hy gepleeg het, nie Eva nie. “Vir die mens het die Here God gesê: “Omdat jy na jou vrou geluister het en geëet het van die boom waarvan Ek jou verbied het om te eet…’ “ Gen. 3:17. As mans, is ons die wat uitermatig verantwoordelik is vir ons huwelike en families.

It doesn’t matter what your wife is doing now or what she has done in the past; you must take responsibility. It is crucial that you embrace this mindset and turn your eyes of blame totally inward; for only then will you begin to become a godly man and regain your wife’s love and trust.

Dit maak nie saak wat jou vrou nou doen of wat sy in die verlede gedoen het nie, jy moet verantwoordelikheid neem. Dit is krities dat jy hierdie denkwyse omhels en jou oë van blaam heeltemal inwaarts keer; want net dan sal jy ‘n goddelike man word en jou vrou se liefde en vertroue terug wen.

You are your wife’s protector. Men, God put us over our wives for their protection, not so we can control, intimidate, or use them for our pleasure! The woman was deceived; therefore, God knew she was susceptible to Satan’s deceptive schemes. Therefore, He assigned man to rule over her. “To the woman He said, ‘I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you shall bring forth children; [pain in childbirth was her curse] Yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.’ ” Gen. 3:16. Also, as we can see, woman’s punishment was not that she would bear children; it was that she would have pain when they were brought forth.

Jy is jou vrou se beskermer. Mans, God het ons oor ons vrouens geplaas vir hulle beskerming, nie sodat ons kan beheer, intimideer, of hulle vir ons genot gebruik nie! Die vrou was mislei; daarom, het God geweet dat sy  vatbaar is vir Satan se bedrieglike planne. Daarom, het Hy die man aangestel om oor haar te heers. “Vir die vrou het die Here God gesê: “Ek sal jou baie swaar laat kry met jou swangerskappe: met pyn sal jy kinders in die wêreld bring [pyn in kindergeboorte was haar vloek]. Na jou man sal jy hunker, en hy sal oor jou heers.’ ” Gen. 3:16. Ook, soos ons kan sien, die vrou se straf was nie dat sy kinders sal baar nie; dit was dat sy pyn sou hê wanneer hulle in die wêreld kom.

Nor was her curse to have her husband rule over her as the feminists would have us to believe. However, when a husband does not demonstrate a Christ-like love for his wife or he allows sin to get a stronghold in his life, then he can become like a curse to his wife.

Nog minder was dit haar vloek om haar man te hê om oor haar te heers soos wat die feministe wil hê ons moet glo. Nietemin, wanneer ‘n man nie ‘n  Christelike-soort liefde vir sy vrou demonstreer of hy laat sonde toe om ‘n houvas in sy lewe te kry, dan kan hy soos ‘n vloek vir sy vrou word.

“And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being quite deceived, fell into transgression.” 1Tim. 2:14. Have you neglected to protect your wife? Have you left her totally open to deception due to your ill treatment of her? If so, repent!

“Dit is ook nie Adam wat verlei is nie, dit is die vrou wat haar laat verlei het en die gebod oortree het. “ 1Tim. 2:14. Het jy versuim om jou vrou te beskerm? Het jy haar totaal oop gelos om verlei te word as gevolg van jou slegte behandeling van haar? Indien so, kom tot inkeer!

But don’t make the mistake of telling her that she is being deceived. When a person really is deceived they can no longer discern right from wrong. Confronting her will only drive her farther away from you and from God. At this point, your time would be best spent finding out how to become a godly man and husband. Much can be learned by reading the manual for men, A Wise Man Builds Upon A Rock, available for free to read on our website, or to order a copy. Then use prayer to protect your wife and to change the situation she is in.

Maar moet nie die fout maak om haar te vertel dat sy verlei word nie. Wanneer ‘n persoon regtig verlei word kan hulle nie meer reg van verkeerd onderskei nie. Deur haar te konfronteer sal haar net verder weg van God en van jou dryf. Op hierdie stadium, sal jou tyd beste bestee word oor deur hoe om ‘n goddelike man en eggenoot te word. Baie kan geleer word uit die handboeek vir mans, A Wise Man Builds Upon A Rock, gratis op ons webwerf beskikbaar om te lees, of om ‘n afskrif te bestel. Gebruik dan gebed om jou vrou te beskerm

Spiritual Protection
Geestelike Beskerming

Women in the church. “Let the women keep silent in the churches; for they are not permitted to speak, but let them subject themselves, just as the Law also says. And if they desire to learn anything, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is improper for a woman to speak in church.” 1Cor. 14:34-35. Why do churches and Christian seminars seem to attract more women than men? It is primarily because women have a deep craving for spiritual things and their husbands are not meeting their obligation to help fulfill this need.

Vrouens in die kerk. “Moet die vrouens ook in julle byeenkomste stilbly, want hulle word nie toegelaat om te praat nie. Hulle moet onderdanig wees, soos die wet ook sê. As hulle iets te wete wil kom, moet hulle tuis hulle eie mans vra, want dit is lelik vir 'n vrou om in die erediens te praat. Waarom lyk dit asof kerke en Christelike seminare meer vrouens as mans lok? Dit is hoofsaaklik omdat vrouens ‘n diep hunkering het vir geestlike dinge en hulle mans voorsien nie in hulle verpligting om te help om in hierdie behoefte te voorsien nie.

Aren't we as men supposed to be the leaders? If men are missing from the church and from the spiritual things pertaining to the family, then are we really leading our families?

Is ons as mans nie veronderstel om die leiers te wees nie? As mans weg is van die kerk af en van die geestelike dinge wat betrekking het tot die familie, lei ons regtig ons families?

Are you capable of answering your wife’s spiritual questions? Maybe your wife is not asking you any questions because of the poor example you have set as a Christian leader. Are you as well versed in the Bible as your wife is? Have you taken the same amount of time seeking the things of God as you have in seeking other things that interest you?

Is jy in staat om jou vrou se geestelike vrae te beantwoord? Miskien vra jou vrou jou nie enige vrae nie as gevolg van die swak voorbeeld wat jy as ‘n Christelike leier gestel het. Is jy so goed vertroud met die Bybel soos wat jou vrou is? Het jy dieselfde hoeveelheid tyd geneem om die dinge van God te soek soos wat jy ander dinge soek wat jou interesseer?

Captivating weak women. “For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.” 2Tim. 3:6. Certainly, there are things your wife needs to learn from another – an older woman, such as the things found in the book of Titus – but what have you taught her by your example?

Liggelowige vroue in hulle mag. “ Party van hulle dring in die huise in en kry liggelowige vroue wat met sonde belaai is en deur allerlei sinlike begeertes gedryf word, in hulle mag, vroue wat altyd iets wil leer, maar tog nooit tot die kennis van die waarheid kan kom nie.” 2Tim. 3:6. Sekerlik, is daar dinge wat jou vrou nodig het om te leer van ‘n ander - ‘n ouer vrou, soos die dinge wat in die boek van Titus gevind word - maar wat het jy haar deur jou voorbeeld geleer?

Weak women? Are you aware that in God’s Word it says in 1Pet. 3:7, “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman….” Have you treated your wife as a weaker vessel or have you treated her with harshness and hardheartedness? God’s Word says that we as men are to live with our wives differently, in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman. Have you taken the time to really listen to your wife share her thoughts and concerns from her heart? Or has she stopped opening up her heart to you because what she has said has fallen on a deaf ear? An ear so embittered that no kindness, sympathy or understanding would be the response to her deep and wounded cry?

Liggelowige vroue? Is jy bewus dat in God se Woord in 1 Pet. 3:7 sê dit, “Mans, julle moet verstandig met julle vrouens saamleef. Bewys eer aan hulle as die swakker geslag….” Het jy jou vrou as die swakker geslag behandel of behandel jy haar met hardheid en hard van hart? God se Woord sê dat ons as mans moet anders saam ons vrouens lewe, verstandig, as die swakker geslag. Het jy die tyd geneem om regtig na jou vrou te luister haar gedagtes en bekommernis van haar hart deel? Of het sy opgehou om haar hart vir jou oop te maak omdat jou oor doof is? ‘n Oor wat so verbitter is dat geen vriendelikheid, simpatie of verstandhouding die reaksie tot haar diep en gewonde uitroep sou wees nie?      

Honor her as a fellow heir. Have you treated your wife as a lower class citizen in the Kingdom of God? Have you acted arrogantly as the leader of your home? Then you need to read the entire verse that we have been referring to. “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” 1Pet. 3:7. God is so adamant about how a husband is to treat his wife that he assigns a punishment for a husband who fails to treat his wife appropriately -- your prayers will be hindered. Have your prayers recently been answered? If not, then it is time to take a serious look at your relationship with your wife.

Eer haar as wat saam jou deel as ‘n genadegawe. Het jy jou vrou as ‘n lae klas burger in die Koninkryk van God behandel? Het jy arrogant opgetree as die leier van jou huis? Dan moet jy die hele vers lees waarna ons verwys. “Mans, julle moet verstandig met julle vrouens saamleef. Bewys eer aan hulle as die swakker geslag wat saam met julle deel in die lewe as genadegawe. Dan sal julle kan bid sonder dat iets julle hinder.” 1Pet. 3:7. God is so vabeslote oor hoe ‘n man sy vrou moet behandel dat hy straf toewys vir ‘n man wat misluk om sy vrou toepaslik te behandel -- jou gebede sal vehinder word. Is jou gebede onlangs beantwoord? Indien nie, dan is dit tyd om ernstig na jou verhouding met jou vrou te kyk.

The fact is, the fate of your entire household rests on you. Do not attempt to take the speck out of your wife’s eye and concentrate on her shortcomings. If you were a patient, kind and understanding husband like you should be with your wife, she would turn back to you in an instant. God created her with a desire for you! It says in Gen. 3:16, God speaking to the wife, “…your desire shall be for your husband…” Your wife was created with a longing to be with you. However, if she is treated harshly instead of in “an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman” then you will see her heart’s desire for you die; making her vulnerable to the affections of another.

Die feit is, die lot van jou hele huishouding rus op jou. Moet nie poog om die splinter uit jou vrou se oog te haal nie en op haar tekortkominge te konsentreer nie. As jy ‘n geduldige, goedhartige en verstandige man soos wat jy behoort te wees met jou vrou was, sou sy in ‘n oomblik terugkeer na jou toe. God het haar geskape met ‘n  hunkering na jou! Dit sê in Gen. 3:16, God wat met jou vrou praat, “ Na jou man sal jy hunker…” Jou vrou was geskape met ‘n hunkering om by jou te wees. Nietemin, as sy harhandig behandel word in plaas van op ‘n “verstandge manier, soos met die swakker geslag” dan sal jy sien hoe haar hart se hunkering vir jou doodgaan; en haar kwesbaar maak vir die toegeneenthede van ‘n ander. 

It’s time to pray Psalm 51 aloud:
Dit is tyd om Psalms 51 hardop te bid:

“Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against Thee, Thee only, have I sinned, and done what is evil in Thy sight. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not take Thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Thy salvation, and sustain me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Thy ways, and sinners will be converted to Thee. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, Thou will not despise.”

“Wees my genadig, o God, in u troue liefde, wis my oortredings uit in u groot barmhartigheid! Was my skoon van my skuld, reinig my van my sonde! Ja, my oortredings ken ek en van my sonde bly ek altyd bewus. Teen U alleen het ek gesondig, ek het gedoen wat verkeerd is in u oë. U uitspraak is dus reg en u oordeel regverdig. Ek was al skuldig toe ek gebore is, met sonde belaai toe my moeder swanger geword het. Maar U verwag opregtheid diep in 'n mens se hart: laat ek dan diep in my binneste weet hoe U wil dat ek moet lewe. Neem tog my sonde weg dat ek rein kan wees, was my dat ek witter as sneeu kan wees. Laat my weer blydskap en vreugde belewe. U het my verbrysel; laat my weer jubbel. Moet tog nie ag slaan op my sondes nie, wis al my skuld uit! Skep vir my ‘n rein hart, o God, vernuwe my gees en maak my standvastig. Moet my tog nie van U af wegdryf en u Heilige Gees van my af wegneem nie! Laat my weer die blydskap ervaar van iemand wat deur U verlos is, laat my U weer met toewyding dien. Dan sal ek oortreders leer wat U van 'n mens verwag; dat die sondaars hulle tot U sal bekeer. Red my van ondergang, o God, my Redder, dat ek kan jubel oor u verlossingsdaad. Here, gee my die woorde om u lof te verkondig. 'n Offer vra U nie, anders sou ek dit bring; 'n brandoffer wil U nie hê nie. Die offer wat U wil hê, o God, is verootmoediging: U sal 'n hart vol ootmoed en berou nie gering ag nie, o God."

May God be with you as you strive to be more like Christ!
Mag God by jou wees soos wat jy streef om meer soos Christus te wees!

Personal commitment: to put the Lord first in my life. “Based on what I have learned in Scripture, I commit to do everything as unto the Lord. I will show the Lord my commitment to Him and my obedience to His Word by submitting to those who are in authority over me, especially my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, by following His example. I will treat my wife as a weaker vessel, in an understanding way, since she is a woman, and grant her honor as a fellow heir, rather than a second class citizen, so that my prayers will no longer be hindered.”

Persoonlike toewyding: om die Here eerste in my lewe te plaas. “Gebaseer op wat ek geleer het in die Bybel, pleeg ek om alles te doen soos vir die Here. Ek sal vir die Here my toewyding en my gehoorsaamheid wys tot Sy Woord deur onderdanig te wees aan die wat in gesag oor my is, spesiaal my Here en Redder, Jesus Christus, deur Sy voorbeeld te volg. Ek sal my vrou as die swakker geslag behandel, op ‘n verstandige manier, en haar die eer gee as deel in die genadegawe, eerder as ‘n tweede klas burger, sodat my gebede nie meer verhinder sal word nie.”