Chapter 15 "Father’s Instructions"
Hear, my son, your father’s instruction . . .
Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head,
And ornaments about your neck.
Today there is a lot of talk about discipline and very little about training or love. What method should I use? Certainly, one that works—one that brings about bountiful fruits! God said that anything that is not founded on His Word is on sinking sand. How can we discern whether the method we follow is based on Scripture? We must know what God’s Word says concerning love, discipline, and child training. Let’s search the Scriptures and seek the Truth.
We Must Love Our Children
We love, because He first loved us. The foundation of love is found in 1 John 4:19: “We love, because He first loved us.” His example toward us is what we should follow. “For you have been called for this purpose . . . leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps” (1 Pet. 2:21). A child cannot give love without being loved first. When I give my love first, only then will my child learn to love. Love motivates obedience. As we grow more in love with our Lord, we are motivated to righteous living.
Have you ever wondered why children of godly parents, ones that without a doubt followed God’s Word on discipline, still went astray? Could it have to do with an inadequate expression of love? Of course, most parents love their children, but does it show up in the way they look at their children, their loving words, their loving touch, the happy times they spend with their children? How much time do you spend with your child? Do you express loving words? The bottom line is: does your child feel he or she is loved?
Blessing or curse? In Chapter 12, “Fruit of the Womb,” we learned from God’s Word that children are a blessing, even though our society tells us differently. But what do you believe in your heart? You cannot give the deepest heartfelt love to your children if you think of children as a curse.
What do you say in front of them? What do you say behind their backs? What does your attitude toward your children convey to them? Do you say one thing to your children, say something else to others, and, at the same time, dread the thought of any more children? “For let not that man expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways” (James 1:7–8).
What then is love? We are told about love in our books, our movies, and our media. Everyone tells us what they think love is. But shouldn’t we go to the Author of love for the true description? “And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love,I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love,it profits me nothing. Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the Truth; bears all things,believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails” (1 Cor. 13:2–8). It is quite clear that love is more than just a feeling, as we have been told. Love is an action or reaction we make toward others. Let’s look deeper into the words that are in bold in the preceding Scripture.
Patient. Patience is a reaction.Patience is definitely more than a necessity when dealing with children. We only need to look at the parents we see in public with their children to see that patience is in very low supply today. If these parents are this fed up with their children in public, how do they act in private? The following verse is a perfect prescription for a father to use with his children: “And we urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all men” (1 Thess. 5:14). “And the Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged . . .” (2 Tim. 2:24).
Kind. Kindness goes a long way when dealing with children. Sometimes, however, we seem to forget. “And the Lord’s bondservant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged . . .” (2 Tim. 2:24). We must speak kindly and gently with our children. When training your children, it is important to get their attention first by calling their name. Then take the time to look at them in the eyes and speak kindly to them. This does not mean that we are trying to plead or beg for their obedience; it is merely the difference between speaking gentle words and barking out commands.
Not jealous. We should be keenly aware that favoritism will cause jealousy between siblings. If one child exhibits unfavorable habits, mannerisms, or the like, it may cause you to favor his sibling(s). Instead, love your troubled child enough to work with them on their weaknesses.Or have you forgotten the discord in Joseph’s family caused by favoritism? It resulted in a notorious jealousy! “And his brothers were jealous of him, but his father . . .” (Gen. 37:11).
Not act unbecomingly. Acting unbecomingly has become commonplace in too many of our homes, as well as in public. Major “scenes” or “ranting and ravings” go on all too often. Love your children enough to control your spirit. Then control theirs until you can teach them to control their own.“Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit” (Prov. 25:28).
Seek its own. We men are bombarded every day with encouragement to “just do it” and to have “our own life.” Only a few years ago we would have called that attitude “selfish and self-centered.” Regardless of the popularity of this new concept, selfishness will reap only sorrow and regrets. God’s Word says, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself . . .” (Phil. 2:3).
Not provoked. How short is your fuse? Are you quick to fly off the handle? Is most of what you say in a raised voice? “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger pacifies contention” (Prov. 15:18). “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city” (Prov. 16:32). “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression” (Prov. 19:11).
We must learn to be discreet when we are offended or disappointed. Royalty is taught to control their feelings in public. Men, we are children of Christ the King; we should therefore act accordingly in the presence of all others and teach our children to do the same.
Bears all things. God expects us to bear burdens with His help. The burdens of a father can sometimes seem unbearable; don’t be too proud to run to Him. “Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden, the God who is our salvation. Selah” (Ps. 68:19). “For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a man bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly” (1 Pet. 2:19).
Believes all things. To follow Scripture when training and disciplining our children will take faith. But, praise God! We have His promise that we will not be disappointed! “. . . for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation” (Rom. 10:10). For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed” (Rom. 10:11). Authors and manufacturers tell us that following their directions or buying their products will change our life. Trust our Creator and the Author of life to receive His promises!
Hopes all things. Our hope for our children needs to be in Him. As you follow Him in obedience to His Word and have faith that He will complete what He began in you, your wife, and your children—know that He will complete it. This is our hope! “The hope of the righteous is gladness, but the expectation of the wicked perishes” (Prov. 10:28). “Know that wisdom is thus for your soul; if you find it, then there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off” (Prov. 24:14).
Endures all things. When we feel we are at the end of our rope, God encourages us to hang on to Him. “But the one who endures to the end, he shall be saved” (Matt. 24:13). “And you will be hated by all on account of My name, but the one who endures to the end, he shall be saved” (Mark 13:13).
Love never fails. This is our greatest promise: His love for us and our love for one another, especially our children, will never fail! “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions” (Prov. 10:12).
Show your children that you love them. “Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed” (Prov. 27:5).
Unchanging love. “Who is a God like Thee . . . He (God) delights in unchanging love” (Mic. 7:18). Be sure your children know that you will always love them.
How then can I convey love to my children?
Many fathers give their children material possessions. Children need something else. They need you!
Your time. The most important thing you can give to your child is your time. When we like someone, or love someone, we want to spend our time with that person. Where is your time being spent most? Where does your child fall in the level of importance to you? If you wait for there to be time for your children, they may not be children anymore! Then they will show their gratitude to you by having little or no time to spend with you. What could possibly be more important than that little boy or girl? We know we waste so much precious time on things that will mean absolutely nothing years from now. There is such a great reward in spending our time with our children. It is the greatest investment you could ever make. You will be investing in their future and your future too.
Make eye contact. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you” (Ps. 32:8). We need to teach and instruct our children with our eyes. But how can we do that when we are continually dropping our children off at a multitude of activities? Even if we do stay to watch, many times we become involved in a conversation with another father instead of paying attention to our children.
If our children are never around because of school, sports, music lessons, and other activities, how can we possibly instruct or guide them? We must make the time to look into their eyes, to show our love for them, and to instruct them. They must know that they are the apple of our eyes! “Keep me as the apple of the eye . . .” (Ps. 17:8). All the activities that seem to keep us so busy are usually temporary; therefore, they have only temporal value. “. . . while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal” (2 Cor. 4:18).
Your touch. Touch is very important. It has healing and comforting powers. Consider these verses:
“And they were bringing even their babies to Him so that He might touch them . . .” (Luke 18:15).
“And they were bringing children to Him so that He might touch them . . .” (Mark 10:13).
“ And they brought a blind man to Him, and entreated Him to touch him” (Mark 8:22).
“And all the multitude were trying to touch Him, for power was coming from Him and healing them all” (Luke 6:19).
“But Jesus said, ‘Someone did touch Me, for I was aware that power had gone out of Me’” (Luke 8:46).
Your child’s first touch. The decision to breast-feed is an important decision. It is important that you as the husband and father understand that it is not only for food but also for your baby’s first touch. The formula companies are now required by law to tell the truth in their ads that breast milk is best for the baby. As fathers, we should want the best for our children and thus encourage, not discourage, our wives to breast-feed. Pray that an older woman will encourage your wife “to love her children” (Titus 2:4). “Older women . . . that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children . . .” (Titus 2:3–4). Let’s look a bit further into this issue.
God made the perfect food. Babies long to be close to their mother—for her milk. They are born with this strong desire. Doctors tell us it is a reflex and a basic need for survival. Scripture says, “. . . like newborn babes, long for the pure milk of the Word, that by it you may grow in respect to salvation . . .” (1 Pet. 2:2).
Are we to comfort or not? “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and God of all comfortwho comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Cor. 1:3). The natural response of a mother whose baby or child is crying is to comfort. Experts come and go, along with their recommendations on whether to respond to a crying child. We are presently being told to teach our children to comfort themselves, to help them to become independent.
Children comfort themselves by hugging a stuffed animal, rocking themselves, sucking their thumbs or their fingers, or taking a pacifier. Children whose needs have been thwarted seem never to “wean” completely or at the proper time. This causes those who have been given a “substitute” for God’s provision to become insecure. These children are sucking longer and longer. If you take the time to look around, you will notice that it is not just babies sucking their thumbs, but children of elementary school age and older! This is now commonplace and accepted in today’s schools! This should be a warning to us that something has deviated from God’s perfect plan and design. God’s ways are always perfect.
Are we to hear and respond to their cries or not? Do we plead with God, asking Him to hear us, comfort us, and help us? Then let us not ignore our children’s cries for us. Even if nothing works when you try to comfort your child, your child can still feel your love. We want understanding and comfort. “Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice, and be gracious to me and answer me” (Ps. 27:7). “Hear . . . when I cry to Thee for help . . .” (Ps. 28:2). “. . . Give ear to my cry; do not be silent at my tears . . .” (Ps. 39:12).
Parenting techniques come and go. Throughout your lifetime different psychologists and child “experts” will tell you different things in regard to raising children. Let’s hold all things up to the “light” of Scripture to clearly see the Truth. Then we will be founded on the Rock.
Loving discipline. We must also express our love for our children with loving discipline. “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; be zealous therefore, and repent” (Rev. 3:19). Our children need our discipline so that others can love them as well. We have heard the saying He is a son only a mother could love. A child who is undisciplined, unruly, and lacking in self, or parental, control has been done a great disservice by his parents. It is especially shameful to the mother. “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother” (Prov. 29:15). Our children need us to train them so they can become responsible adults. This all takes time, patience, and kindness. You will need to bear many things, believe many things, hope many things, and endure many things, but that kind of love will never fail! Men, do not expect your wife to do all of the disciplining or training of the children when you are at home—you take the lead.
They are too big. No one is too big to need affection and a gentle touch. If they are in their teen years, begin with a pat on the back, a loving squeeze on their arm, or a quick hug. Give them a smile with your eyes and praise them for something. Ask God to set up the perfect opportunity for you to say something kind, loving, and sincere.
They are grown. You may be reading this and thinking that it’s too late because your children are grown. No, it is never too late to show love. Begin now to love your grown children. Begin with your words. Are they loving, accepting, and caring? Lay the groundwork with a loving hug and an “I love you,” no matter what their age.
Regrets. Have you made mistakes, or do you have regrets about your parenting? Have you shared these regrets with your grown child? It’s humbling, but rewarding. “A man’s pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor” (Prov. 29:23). If your family needs healing, there is a Scriptural recipe. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much” (James 5:16).
Pray for an opportunity, for the right words to say and for the heart of your grown child to be receptive to hear. Be prepared to hear their hurts. God tells us, “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle” (Prov. 18:19). But do not lose heart. Proverbs 10:12 says, “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions.” And 1 Peter 4:8 says, “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.” Make sure that you accept all responsibility.
Part 2: Discipline
Our Foundation Must Be His Word
For teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training. Discipline is referred to 90 times in the Old Testament when God disciplines His children and when God’s children discipline their own children. Discipline is found 36 times in Proverbs, almost always referring to the parent-child relationship. If we want to be well versed in child training, we should read and mark these verses in Proverbs as our foundation for training our children. “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitablefor teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work” (2 Tim. 3:16–17). As we will see in the following verses, discipline is a tool for restoration rather than condemnation, to bring a person back to his rightful place spiritually.
To know what was in his heart. Discipline does not always denote the infliction of pain or disappointment. As fathers, we must live disciplined lives in order to properly discipline our children. We must be determined to win every conflict with our self-control and not “give-in” or overlook the behavior or attitude. “. . . The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Gal. 5:22). Have you been negligent in your disciplining because you really don’t want to be bothered? “God left him to test him, that He might know all that was in his heart” (2 Chron. 32:31).
What has kept us from following God’s Word?
Not knowing the Scriptures. It is our responsibility to know Scripture well enough to not be deceived. “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, handling accurately the Word of Truth” (2 Tim. 2:15).
He will go astray. The lack of proper instruction from God’s Word in our Sunday school classes or from the pulpit has resulted in the repercussion of masses of rebellious children. “He will die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he will go astray” (Prov. 5:23).
Lack of knowledge. We lack the biblical knowledge to correctly train and discipline our children. Therefore,“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge” (Hos. 4:6).
Turned aside to fruitless discussion. Many Christians follow the most popular “experts” of their day. However, we are told in Scripture that we are not to pay any attention to them. “. . . Instruct certain men not to teach strange doctrines, nor to pay attention to myths and endless genealogies, which give rise to mere speculation . . . For some men, straying from these things, have turned aside to fruitless discussion . . .” (1 Tim. 1:3).
Myths. We are told that we will look for what we “want” to hear. “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires; and will turn away their ears from the Truth, and will turn aside to myths” (2 Tim. 4:3–4).What are some of the more popular myths that are prevalent in some Christian books and are accepted theories among Christians on discipline?
The “strong-willed” child. When searching Scripture, you will find that God makes no distinction between personality types such as strong-willed, melancholy, lion, etc. when disciplining, training, or teaching children. Certainly, a child who does not bend when switched should be dealt with carefully lest we neglect the Word of God. We must be very careful to resist adding to God’s Word. “You shall not add to the Word which I am commanding you, nor take away from it, that you may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you” (Deut. 4:2).
Another thing we are erroneously told is not to break the “spirit” of the child. But, the purpose of punishment is to destroy the “spirit” of rebellion. If you tell the child not to do something and they do it, you must punish the rebellion. Threatening will not destroy a “spirit” of rebellion. As a matter of fact, constant threatening will only intensify the spirit of rebellion. You must punish with the rod. Never “threaten.” You must always mean what you say and carry out the punishment after you have warned. If you don’t, you are lying to your child! “A youngster’s heart is filled with rebellion, but punishment will drive it out of him” (Prov. 22:15, KJV).
Deliberate defiance. Another misconception found in popular books on discipline is that we must only discipline for “deliberate defiance.” Yet, we clearly find in Scripture that this is not the Truth. “Foolishness” is also a call for punishment—for example, when a child forgets to do things that he is told to do. “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him” (Prov. 22:15). But why would we embrace something that is false and not found in Scripture? Could it be that we want to hear something untrue about child discipline? Could it be our fear?
Fear of man brings a snare. But if we do discipline the way Scripture tells us to, well, what about the HRS and child abuse? Again, let’s look at Scripture for the Truth. “The fear of man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted” (Prov. 29:25).
Do not fear the reproach of man. What might other people (family or friends) say? “Listen to Me, you who know righteousness, a people in whose heart is My law; do not fear the reproach of man, neither be dismayed at their reviling” (Isa. 51:7). (Reviling is defined as verbal attacks. Reproach is defined as blame, disgrace, or discredit.) We are then not to be worried about verbal attacks or people trying to disgrace or discredit us. “And you, son of man, neither fear them nor fear their words, though thistles and thorns are with you and you sit on scorpions; neither fear their words nor be dismayed at their presence, for they are a rebellious house” (Ezek. 2:6).
Do not add to His Words. Shun the “theories” and correction “techniques” of today’s world—i.e., “time out,” “grounding,” or removing privileges, etc.—in lieu of using the rod. “Do not add to His Words lest He reprove you, and you be proved a liar” (Prov. 30:6).
His way. Make a covenant with God that you will follow His way regardless of what the world says.
The Truth on Discipline
Let’s look at specific references in Scripture for wisdom:
When you punish a child it proves to him that you love him. “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him takes care to chastise him” (Prov. 13:24). I have explained to my children that I don’t discipline other children, only my own. This is because I love them in the same way as our heavenly Father loves us and He only disciplines those who are His. “For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and he scourges every son whom He receives” (Heb. 12:6).
The time to punish is from the beginning. Don’t wait to turn your child from his wrong ways. “Discipline your child early while there is still hope” (Prov. 19:18). The Living Bible adds, “If you don’t you will ruin his life.”This means bothearly in age and early in their disobedience. So many think that you can’t or shouldn’t train a baby to do the right thing. However, you’d be amazed what a very young child is able to understand. The hardest thing to break is a toddler’s or older child’s behavior (or attitude) that they have been allowed to enjoy. Stop and punish the bad behavior the first time they do it.
Fools despise wisdom and instruction. We can see that we must not just break the “will” of the child, but we must break the “spirit” of rebellion. But how can we tell if it’s the will or the spirit that has yielded? If the child exhibits any type of anger, resentment, or sarcasm after the punishment, it means the spirit of rebellion is still there! “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction” (Prov. 1:7). Rebellion opposes authority and thus opposes God.
He will not die. Temporary pain is profitable for permanent character change. Who is stronger and more determined, you or your child? “Do not withhold discipline from a child. If you punish him with a rod, he will not die” (Prov. 23:13).In life we must face pain “for a season” to enjoy what God wants to give us for a lifetime.
What are the benefits of properly disciplining our children? The real benefits of punishment are spiritual. “Punish him with a rod and you’ll save his soul from Sheol.” The Living Bible says, “They won’t die if you use a stick on them; punishment will keep them out of hell” (Prov. 23:14).
Again, when you punish a child, it proves to him that you love him. “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him takes care to chastise him” (Prov. 13:24).
The purpose of punishment is to redirect the life. “Guide a horse with a whip, a donkey with a bridle, and a rebel with a rod to his back” (Prov. 26:3). Don’t use a whip since your child is not a horse, nor a belt since your child is not a donkey. To follow Scripture we must use a rod that is “wooden” on the backside. We have used a switch that has brought about true repentance. “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother” (Prov. 29:15). Avoiding punishment will eventually bring shame to the mother. All the Scriptures are clear about punishment: the rod is the only “cure” for rebellion. Other “techniques” can be used after the rod, but they are rarely needed and should be used sparingly and cautiously.
The ministry of reconciliation. “You’re grounded!” Many parents believe in and practice the method of grounding. During a designated period of time the child is to be “in the dog house,” so to speak. But this is not Scriptural. We must apply physical punishment (the rod) and then train our children to ask for forgiveness. Then we should forgive! “Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ, and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the Word of reconciliation” (2 Cor. 5:18–19).
Forgive and comfort him. Show your love for them afterwards: “. . . forgive and comfort him, lest somehow such a one be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him” (2 Cor. 2:6).
Applying the Rod
He who loves him disciplines him. Do you love your child enough to apply the rod? “Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death” (Prov. 19:18). “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently” (Prov. 13:24). And, “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; be zealous therefore, and repent” (Rev. 3:19).
Many parents let their children get away with disobedience because they fail to tell them what is expected of them and don’t believe it’s “fair” to apply the rod. Instead they warn, warn, and warn.When you tell your children they are to do or not to do something, see if there is a reference for your teaching in the Bible.If there is a specific Scripture that applies, then open up the Bible and have them (or you) read it out loud. Fathers, this is a good reason to know the Word!
Your goal in using a rod (a switch) is for the child to associate sin with pain. What is most important is that the child knows, through your actions, that you are not angry with him, but rather you hate the sin. Isn’t this following the same pattern our heavenly Father uses with us? God will discipline us but He never stops loving us.
When you call a child to come, and he chooses not to comply, simply walking over and switching the back of his little leg will encourage him to move. When a child is told not to call out for a drink or anything else after she has been put to bed, it is as simple as walking in, pulling back the covers and applying a little switch. Then bend down, kiss her again and tell her kindly and lovingly not to call again. When two children have been told not to fight, it is as simple as walking over to them and giving each a quick switch. There is no need to yell, be angry or explain!
If they seem shocked, you may explain after you have already applied the rod. There are too many parents who spend time debating with their children. Fathers, your family is not a democracy. God in His infinite wisdom created a line of authority for a purpose. Don’t undermine your authority with verbal debates with your children. And don’t wait until you are angry. “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones” (Prov. 17:22). If you wait, hoping they will come, obey, or stop what they are doing, then there is a good chance that you will become angry. If, instead, you apply the rod (a switch) that brings about a sting without delay, you can keep your countenance joyful.
You were made sorrowful to the point of repentance. The use of the rod is to bring about compliance and repentance. “I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, in order that you might not suffer loss in anything through us” (2 Cor. 7:9). “You shall beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from Sheol” (Prov. 23:14). If at this point you want to tell me that your children won’t respond to a switch or any other physical correction—hen you are not applying enough of them or they are not hard enough! You simply must make sure it hurts.
Many parents are afraid of permanent damage, or they are afraid that they may become abusive. All a child ever needs is to feel the “full effects” of a rod one time for them to always respect the switch and their parents. Abuse stems from anger. If you “nip it in the bud” each and every time, instead of ignoring improper behavior, then you will never reach the point of abuse. Abuse is on the increase because parents have stopped using corporal punishment with their children. By the time the child has totally exhausted the parent’s patience (because all the other methods simply don’t work), then the frazzled parent responds by losing control.
Speaks from that which fills his heart. It is sometimes important to ask for an “I’m sorry, please forgive me for . . .” since “the heart of the wise teaches his mouth, and adds persuasiveness to his lips” (Prov. 16:23). “The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart” (Luke 6:45). This should be sincere without any resentment, anger, or coaxing. If the child again rebels against your authority by refusing to comply to your request with the right heart, then repeat the switches until they feel the “full effects.”
A countenance that is lifted up. You must see true repentance. “. . . So Cain became very angry and his countenance fell. Then the Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it’” (Gen. 4:5–7). If you are too frightened to follow through, and you allow their covert anger towards you as the authority, you will someday find that their bitterness towards you will destroy your relationship.
Forgive and comfort him. Once you have a child whose rebellious spirit is broken, then reaffirm your love for him, verbally and physically. Hug him or hold him in your lap, if he is not too old or too heavy. “Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him” (2 Cor. 2:8). “Sufficient for such a one is this punishment which was inflicted by the majority, so that on the contrary you should rather forgive and comfort him, lest somehow such a one be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow” (2 Cor. 2:6–7). At this point, there should be no need for you to “ground them,” “send them to their room,” “take away their privileges,” or use any other means of punishment.
Reaffirm your love for him. After using the rod on your child, make sure that you show your love for him. “Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him” (2 Cor. 2:8). Never correct or administer the “rod” in front of those outside the immediate family. We should never shame our children while embarrassing the onlookers in the process. “Let all that you do be done in love” (1 Cor. 16:14). “The wise in heart will be called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness” (Prov. 16:21). Love is an important foundation for you to show to your child. “But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith” (1 Tim. 1:5). Make sure that your attitude toward them confirms that all is forgiven and forgotten.
Warning: If your wife has done what she should, by going through the proper steps of correction, then there should be no need to punish them a second time—“when their father gets home.” If your wife wants to make you aware of a problem that has transpired during the day, then do it privately. Even our court system does not allow anyone to be tried twice for the same crime!
Happiness and peace of mind. God’s Word is true. Do you trust Him, or do you trust the world’s advice or the world’s warnings? “Discipline your son and he will give you happiness and peace of mind” (Prov. 29:17).
Make a Commitment
Don’t wait too long. Begin to train and discipline your children when they are young. Don’t wait to correct bad behavior. Move into action as soon as he starts the disobedience or the disagreeable attitude.
Author of rebellion. Remember that the author of rebellion is Satan. God is the author of discipline and authority. Whom will you serve? Whom will your child serve?
Breed respect. Discipline breeds respect for you and for all authority. Moreover, the lack of proper correction breeds disrespect for you and for all authority.
Confess your sins. Parental correction is only temporary; you only have a few years! So begin early while the clay is soft. If you wait until they’re teens, you will need a sledgehammer to chip away at concrete. If your children are grown and you didn’t discipline and train them biblically, then you probably have had much heartache and many sleepless nights. Your comfort is in prayer! God is a God of miracles. Confess your lack of obedience to His Words and His ways to your adult child. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much” (James 5:16).
Energy and commitment. It will take energy and commitment on your part, but the results are worth it! Pay now or pray later!
Raising a child to be a godly adult takes more than discipline—it takes training. “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6). This verse says to train him in the way he should go, not shouldn’t go. Many times we spend all of our time telling the child “no” or what not to do, instead of using the time to train. By following God’s Word, you will prevent the need for a lot of discipline. Train your children what to do!
Lack of knowledge. Scripture tells us, “My people perish for a lack of knowledge” (Hos.. 4:6). Are your children perishing because they lack the knowledge of what they should do?
Whatever a man sows. We send our children to school or to Sunday school for them to get knowledge, but God gave them to us. Are they learning what we would teach them, if we took the time? Let’s remember, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap” (Gal. 6:7).
He should go. If we don’t train them and discipline them, can we honestly claim: “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).
I did away with childish things. Therefore, if we want to claim the promise of Proverbs 22:6, we must teach and train our children. Help them to do away with childish things as they grow to adulthood. “When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things” (1 Cor. 13:11). But this can only be accomplished if we, as the head of our homes, have done away with childish things. So many women complain that they are the only adult in the home. Does your wife feel this way?
Teach them to work with diligence. Diligence is enthusiasm, enjoyment, excitement, delight, devotion, and fervor. Help your child to learn good work ethics. Give them tasks that they must do every day. Parents who only have one or two children many times do not require their children to help with the housework or yard work. By not teaching them to do “their” part, you will greatly compromise your children’s future.
Wanted and needed. When you require a child’s help it shows the child that he is wanted and needed. There is a chapter in Workers at Home: Making the Most of Your Time that will help your wife (with your support) to implement a system with your children that has kept our home in running order for years!
Responsibility! Work teaches them to appreciate what they have and in turn teaches them responsibility! If they earn what they have, they will care for it and be appreciative of all God gives them in the future. We require our children to pay for sport uniforms or sign-up fees, orthodontic retainers, and most of their own clothes.
Jobs. Employ your children by making jobs available for them to earn money. These should be above and beyond their normal duties.
When they are young. Begin by first looking around the house for things they are able to do. You must not wait until they are too old; begin when they are young. We pay our younger children with treats or privileges or a mere quarter for good labor.
Outside. Next, as they grow, they can begin to work around the yard, in the garage, or on the car. Outside is the next step after they have mastered the inside responsibilities.
The neighborhood. Finally, after they have graduated from inside to outside and they work well, they are then ready to work around the neighborhood. They can wash cars, do yard work, feed animals, bring trashcans out to the street, and help older women with their chores. As their parent, look around for the needs in your neighborhood.
Note: Make sure that helping you or a neighbor is not always for money—they are to be helpful to you, to widows, and to the poor.
Money they’ve earned. What do they do with the money they’ve earned? It is important that you don’t stop the instructional process once they’ve earned money. You must instruct them on how to spend wisely the money they’ve earned.
Children’s wants. The worst thing you can do is provide for all your children’s wants. Also, do not replace the things that they have lost or damaged, or that have been stolen—if it was caused by their irresponsibility.
Carried over to their adult life. Whatever you teach them to do with the money they’ve earned now will be carried over to their adult life. Do you want them to rely on you once they’re out supposedly on their own?
God supplies all our needs. First tithe! Teach your children thatGod supplies all our needs. God only asks us to give Him 10 percent and we get to keep 90 percent! Require your children to tithe from all money that is earned.
Save 10 percent. Save! Teach the child to save the next 10 percent.
Future needs. Next they need to pay for needs. Look ahead to their future needs as stated above (dues, equipment, or clothing) or possibly a birthday gift, Mother’s Day gift, etc.
Teach wise buying. Lastly, the child may spend on his “wants.” The caution here is to teach wise buying.
His own money. Don’t allow toys, games, or books that have a bad influence on your child, just because he is using his “own money.” Also, don’t allow them to buy rebellious clothing (things you wouldn’t buy for them), just because it’s their money.
Teach them organization. You must train a child to be organized, but you can’t teach what you haven’t learned yourself! Erin’s mother, God bless her, was the most disorganized person you could ever meet. When Erin and I got married, she had no clue how to get our home organized and running smoothly. If your wife has trouble in this area, there is hope. Erin wrote down most of her methods for keeping our house and family (of nine) running smoothly—while homeschooling, writing, and helping me with my business. Pick up a copy of Workers at Home: Making the Most of Your Time for your wife.
Any way they like. Be diligent about your children keeping their rooms in good order. Many parents think that because this is “their room” they can keep it any way they like, as long as the door is shut. I don’t think you’ll be too popular with your daughter-in-law when your son keeps his home as he was allowed to keep his room!
Caution: Be careful not to let your children acquire “territorial attitudes” about their room and their things. You need to teach and exhibit to your children that “we own nothing.” We are stewards over all that God has entrusted to us.
How to do it. Teach them how to do all the tasks and chores they are asked to do.
Done right. Work together with your child at first. Later, when they’ve mastered the skill, periodically check their work to make sure it was done right.
Everything is wonderful. Many experts tell us that we will damage our child’s self-esteem if we don’t tell them “everything is wonderful” (then after they are safely gone out of the room we can “fix” what they missed or did wrong). Children want and need the truth from us. Don’t be afraid to correct them. Just make sure it is motivated by love, not a desire to prove them a failure.
Prepare ahead. Teach them how to prepare ahead by laying out clothes for the next day, packing their sporting bags after the clothes are clean and dried, and placing things by the door to collect when they’re going out the door. You’ll find some tips on this in Workers at Home: Making the Most of Your Time.
Many men think their sons should not have to do housework or even make their beds! Shun this notion and allow your wife to use them to ease her load. This will teach your children to take orders and carry them out. In the military, men make up their own bunks, shine their own shoes, scrub decks, do K.P., etc., etc. The home is their first training ground, to learn to take care of themselves and those with whom they share their lodgings.
Lower your expectations. When working with children, patience is needed the most, along with lower expectations than we might have for ourselves.
Investment in the future. It may be easier now to do everything yourself, but, by training your children, you are making an investment in the future—yours and theirs.
Don’t just pick up after them. Teach them to keep your home clean and tidy. Call them (into the room or into the house) when they have left something out of place. Don’t just pick up after them!
Children in the kitchen. Having them assist your wife in the kitchen can be helpful also. Caution: Don’t send the children to the kitchen when dinner is late or you’re expecting guests—it will be difficult for your wife to be patient!
Train your young men. Train boys to do the laundry. Housework is not just for the girls, since most men live on their own before they marry. It’s terrible when parents haven’t trained their young men. Won’t your daughter-in-law just love you when she has her first baby and her husband is able to keep the home clean and all the laundry done? Boys who are about 9 or 10 can easily learn this. If you wait until they are in their teen years, you have waited too long.
Suggestion: Drop the title of “teenager” from your vocabulary. It connotes rebellion. They are “young men” or “young ladies,” and you should expect them to act like it.
Talk about God. Talk to your children about God, your Lord, and how He plays a part in your everyday life.
Daily prayers. Pray with them about their needs and fears. Ask them to pray for your needs, especially during a family trial. Daily prayers are the best remedy for daily cares.
Share your trials. You’re not “shoving religion down their throats” when you share your trials and how the Lord helped you through them all. Don’t hide all that you go through as an adult so they are unprepared for life. But, at the same time, don’t bring them into your confidence and into details that they should never have to face as a child.
Caution: Children have ears and they hear everything! Be careful what you say in their presence and especially watch your tongue when you are on the phone. Your children are not your best friends. They need you to be the parent and to protect them while they are young! Don’t impart fear to your children.
God answers prayers. Use a prayer tree to show how God answers prayers. You will find this at the end of Chapter 2, “Your First Love.”
See your joy! Live your faith! Let them see your joy in the Lord! Another thing Erin did with our small children every day was to have them put on their armor of God. They acted it out as if they were putting on each piece of armor. Our little boys used to make their own armor with helmets and swords. They would proclaim in a loud voice, “This is my sword of the Spirit—the Word of God!” “I’m wearing sandals of peace, so I can be a peacemaker when I see trouble!” “This is my shield of faith, so I can put out all the fiery darts of the devil when he shoots them at me!”
Lead them to the Lord at an early age. (Don’t leave this blessing to a Sunday school teacher or someone else.)
Hiding God’s Word in their hearts. Have them memorize Scripture every day. By hiding God’s Word in their hearts, they will have the foundation they need for a truly great and godly character. You will find some tips on Bible memorization in Workers at Home: Making the Most of Your Time.
Disciplining and training. By following God’s Wordbydisciplining, training, and correcting your children, you are setting an example for them to do the same with your grandchildren.
“Honor your mother and your father” (Eph. 6:1). This should be the first Scripture every child should memorize at two or three years of age.
Follow your example. Be careful how you speak about your parents in front of your children; your children will follow your example. Be sure you treat or speak about your parents in the way that you want to be treated when you get older.
Glorify disrespectful children. Don’t allow your children to be disrespectful to other adults. If you allow television in your home, you are training them to be rebellious. Disrespect for adults is being emphasized on all the sitcoms they watch and the movies they view. It’s very popular these days to glorify these disrespectful children.
Talking back. Do you allow your children to talk back to you? If they answer anything but “Yes, Ma’am” or “No, Sir,” they are talking back. Never allow your children to talk back to you.
How many times do you call before your children come? Never call twice. Children know how many times you are willing to call for them. Every child waits to come until just before they know that you will “blow up.”
Here I come! Teach them to answer on your first call with “Here I come!” This begins by teaching your toddler to say, “Here I come, Daddy,” and then taking his hand and bringing him back to you, praising him along the way.
Suddenly unable to walk. If they get “weak in the knees” and are suddenly unable to walk, they get a little switch on the leg.
Come along willingly. By the time they are able to say the words “Here I come, Daddy,” they think it is their idea, and they come running along willingly.
Are you too lazy? Don’t call them if you are too lazy to go get them after your first call. Remember, delayed obedience is disobedience!
Testimony: “I was telling one of my friends last week that I am working with my kids on obeying me immeditately, without waiting to be told a second time. My friend honestly couldn’t see why it was so important, and I admitted that at times I did still give them a second chance. Within just a day or two of my telling her this, Evan (my two-year-old) put a penny in the CD player in the car and shorted out the entire electrical system—the dash lights were out, and I even got pulled over because I didn’t realize the taillights were out also! When I saw what he was about to do, I told him ‘no,’ and he looked right at me, probably to see whether I had my ‘last chance’ look on . . . which I must not have, because he put the coin in anyway. This made me realize why it was so important for my kids to know they have to obey the first time. Expensive lesson, but I am praising God for making it so obvious that I couldn’t miss it!”
Base every lesson on a Scriptural foundation. Don’t speak badly about others, and don’t tolerate it from your children. My wife and I always try to base every lesson on a Scripture. There are many Scriptures on the subject of slander.
Show respect. Show respect for other people’s belongings and property. Investing in others will teach this.
Introducing themselves. Teach your children the polite way of introducing themselves. Have them say, “It’s nice to meet you” with a smile (and a handshake for the boys).
Proper phone etiquette. Teach them proper telephone etiquette. Have them identify themselves and ask, “Who’s calling, please?” Then teach them to cover the phone, or go and get you—never yell for you!
Make eye contact. Look your children in the eyes so they will learn to do the same. If your child does not make eye contact when speaking, it may affect how others perceive his sincerity.
Do you allow your children to interrupt? Are you encouraging interruptions by allowing your child to get what they want when they interrupt? Never allow them to interrupt when you or others are speaking. Stand quietly. Teach them to stand next to you quietly. After a short wait, pardon yourself and ask them quietly what they need.
Go away and come back. If they interrupt, make them go away and come back and do as you have asked—over and over if necessary! And don’t listen to what they want or you are just breeding interruptions!
A proper attitude should be life-long. Don’t use the phrase “As long as you are in my house you’ll . . .” Your goal should be to develop a godly man or godly woman. Good behavior and a proper attitude should be life-long. It is important to develop your children’s character, not just suppress their fleshly response.
Don’t. Don't speak badly about your children, ever! Don’t call them brats or worse. Don’t say that you can’t wait until they go back to school or grow up. You will reap what you have sown. That same attitude will return to you later.
Many people think it’s strange that we educate our children at home. The Lord knows that it is not merely a commitment but a conviction. Here are our reasons for educating our own children. If you are not educating your children at home, I hope that after reading this you will feel it is something you would like to pray about and discuss with your wife.
And you shall teach them diligently. God gave your children to you to train until they are adults. As adults, they need to know, among other spiritual things, how to read, write, and do math. One only needs to turn on the news, read a newspaper, or pick up a magazine to see that those who are graduating from high school are unable to perform these basic skills. Major companies are now having to spend money to teach remedial skills to our nation’s young adults because they didn’t learn the basics in their twelve plus years in school. “And you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up” (Deut. 6:7).
God gave them knowledge and intelligence. You spend years building into this little child morals and wisdom, and then school unravels all that they have been taught. To top it off, then they turn your own children against you and toward their peers. Daniel never could have stood alone had his parents not trained him as a young boy. We claim this Scripture in Daniel 1:17, which says:“And as for these four youths (Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah), God gave them knowledge and intelligence in every branch of literature and wisdom; Daniel even understood all kinds of visions and dreams.”
Make up your mind. As with all promises, there are conditions that must be met. God’s condition, which these youths met, was that they remained undefiled. “But Daniel made up his mind that he would not defile himself . . .” (Dan. 1:8). If we keep our children undefiled as these youths’ parents kept them, then we can trust that God will give our children what they will need.
Ask yourself these questions: If your children are surrounded by evil, will they remain undefiled? Is the world’s knowledge more important than the condition of their souls? Do you want your children to learn a different religion? Secular humanism is taught in all public schools and is intermingled with every subject they take. “For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth” (Hos. 2:2).
Our days. Have you considered how much time your children spend in school versus the time they spend at home with you and their mother and brothers and sisters? “. . . Our days on the earth are like a shadow . . .” (1 Chron. 29:15).
A friend of the world is an enemy of God. Do you want their peers to have first place in their lives? Do you want their peers to be the persons they most want to please? Wouldn’t you rather it be you and the Lord who are first in their lives? Don’t you want them to want to please God most? “Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God” (James 4:3).
Disgraceful even to speak of the things. We all know the problems in school: peer pressure, drugs, sex, drinking, and violence. Not only are our children exposed to these evils, but the schools are now educating our children in evil! They are teaching your children about AIDS, homosexuality, birth control, turning parents in for child abuse, and the list goes on. “And do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness . . . for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret” (Eph. 5:11–12).
Turn away. Instead, teach them to“. . . turn away from evil and do good” (1 Pet. 3:11). Our five-year-old boy, Cooper, is learning to be a gentleman. If Erin is or any of his sisters are dressing, he turns away and sings to the tune of “Dixie”: “Look away, look away, look away, godly man!”
Leave the presence of a fool. Let’s heed God’s Word when He warns, “Leave the presence of a fool or you will not discern words of knowledge” (Prov. 14:7).
Lest he fall. Would you like it if your wife worked in a bar or somewhere else where immorality, drugs, violence, and alcohol were rampant? How long could she “stand” before it started to affect her? “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall” (1 Cor. 10:12).
Bad company corrupts good morals. Your children have less power to resist an evil influence than a grown man or woman does. “Do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Cor. 15:33).
Cause one to stumble. If you put your children into an environment that is evil and that will corrupt their good morals, you may find this to be a sobering Scripture:“It is inevitable that stumbling blocks should come, but woe to him through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should cause one of these little ones to stumble” (Luke 17:1–2).
Here are just a few more of the benefits of educating your children at home:
A mother’s teachings. Since your wife is your child’s teacher, you can be sure that your son or daughter will learn everything he or she needs to know. She’s not trying to teach 30 children, so she can take the time to explain to each child what he or she may not understand. She will not have to go on to a new lesson until they have mastered the previous skill. This is one-on-one tutoring, a method in which all children excel. “. . . Do not forsake your mother’s teaching; indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head” (Prov. 1:8).
Wisdom will enter your heart. Your children will be learning “academics” instead of wasting time learning about birth control, child abuse, recycling, or worshiping “mother earth.” Their time will be spent wisely. They also will have the skills to be leaders since God separated those He chose for leadership, i.e., Abraham, Joseph, Moses, John the Baptist, and Jesus.“For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul” (Prov. 2:10).
Seek ye first the kingdom of God. You will be able to put Bible reading and memorization first. If you place the most importance on these subjects, then you can claim the Scripture:“Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matt. 6:33).
Imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit. Your goals for your daughters should be different than your goals for your sons. Each of your girls should be capable of teaching her own children and helping her own husband. You should encourage them not to pursue careers, which would jeopardize their marriage. Teach them to manage a home, care for children, sew, and do a ministry from their home. Use Proverbs 31 as your guide. “Let her works praise her in the gates” (Prov. 31:31). But most importantly, you can guide your daughters to have “the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Pet. 3:4). A gentle and quiet spirit will only be learned from your wife’s example.
Without the spirit. My goals for my sons are to be mighty in spirit, diligent, and to have a strong work ethic.“For the body without the spirit is dead” (James 2:26).
He will exalt you. Both your daughters and your sons need to learn to live their lives for the Lord. “Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you” (James 4:10).
Destroy the soul. The way to direct our children’s lives is not toward college or a good job where they’ll make a lot of money. A recent survey reported that, of those who professed to be Christians (our sons and our daughters) and went to college (secular as well as Christian colleges), 80 percent of them turned away from their faith! Parents, is a college degree more important than your child’s eternal soul? “And do not fear those who kill the body, but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matt. 10:28). The pursuit of money should not be the goal. All of us must seek the Lord to find out what “call” is on our children’s lives.
My God shall supply. Many times it is the parents’ “pride” that has them sending their children on to college. Beware of all colleges, especially when they are out of town. You may be paying for your impressionable son (or daughter) to be carried away into lust and other sins such as drinking or drugs. Jesus didn’t leave His parents’ authority until He was 30! Many perverse teachings have been planted in the minds of young men and women, even in Bible colleges, and have given forth “bad fruit” later in life. Interestingly, Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, had a degree in theology! “For my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory” (Phil. 4:19). Note of caution: Erin has personally counseled women whose husbands have learned some unimaginable, actually perverted, theories from their professors in Bible colleges.
Number our days. The most important benefit is the “quantity,”not quality, time that you spend with your children. Do you remember older people telling you “how fast time flies,” and “enjoy your children while they are young”? Take that advice, because they are right. “Teach us to number our days, that we may present to Thee a heart of wisdom” (Psalms 90:12).
Benefits of Home Schooling
Well-behaved children. Taking the time to develop well-behaved children will bring praise from others, instead of shame. Also, your children are your testimony and witness to others, whether they are with you or out on their own. “You will know them by their fruits . . .” (Matt. 7:16).
I have no greater joy than this. If you spend more time “disciplining, teaching, and training,” there will be less need for correcting. Catch bad behavior quickly. Remember, “A switch in time saves nine!” You will have children who are helpers, not burdens. But most importantly, they will be strong in faith. “I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in Truth” (3 John 1:4).
Tough love. If you love them enough to train them early, you won’t have to use “tough love” on them when they reach their teens. “Tough love” is needed by parents who didn’t discipline and train their children when they were young. They were afraid to use the rod because they did not fear the Word of God, but instead feared man. And yes, we do recommend “tough love” for teenagers even though we don’t agree with it for the marital relationship. Parents are commanded to punish and control their children; however, neither the husband nor the wife is instructed to respond to their spouse’s actions with anything but love and respect.
Warning: “Tough love” is never to be used on your wife. This is unscriptural and the consequences are disastrous!
Love and respect for you. When you love, teach, train, and discipline your children, they will be part of your life even after they are married. Because you have instilled in them love and respect for you, they will choose to be close to you as adults.
Financially supporting them. Another blessing is that you won’t be financially supporting them in their adult life if you have trained them diligently in good work ethics.
Let us as Christians make a mass exodus from our public schools
and take our children back for Jesus Christ!
Personal commitment: To love, teach, train, discipline, and use the rod with my children with all diligence. “Based on what I have learned from God’s Word, I commit to following God’s plan for parents that is outlined in Proverbs. I will remember always that these children are the Lord’s and have been entrusted to me. I am to train and discipline them in love so they will be ready for God’s service and willing and able to obey Him.”