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Gentlemen, this Living Lesson was written and geared more for women—however, I do believe that you will be blessed to read more about how to rid yourself of guilt.
Do you remember when I said on Week 10: “If you haven’t faced this situation, trust me, you will”?
After ministering for so long I have realized one thing—the enemy isn’t all that clever—so he uses the same bait that hooks the most victims.
The Bible tells us that everyone is tempted in the same way, and this is true for all of us. And even if you don’t entertain the sin of unfaithfulness (to a spouse), the enemy will make you feel ashamed, convincing you that you caused whatever happened due to something you did.
Though this could be true, very often (if you’re far enough along your restoration journey and experienced His love), entertaining the desire for someone other than your spouse won’t happen. If you’re not that far along, and you still long for someone other than your spouse, I would encourage you to speak to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you make a covenant with your eyes as Job did… “I have made a covenant with my eyes…” Job 31:1. and to keep you from the strange, adulterous, forbidden, immoral woman:
“For the lips of a strange woman drop as a honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil” Proverbs 5:3 KJV
Now back to today’s topic...
It was when I wrote and later read again the portion regarding “bait and shame” and especially— “convincing you that you caused it to happen due to something you did” that I was instantly transported back in time. It was 2005 and I was visiting a few ministry members and friends in Colorado.
A member I had never met, who was restored, had graciously invited me to stay way up in the mountains in a very small town. In a home that had been in her family for generations. May I say that I’ve never been so pampered nor felt so relaxed?
However, my going up in those mountains was more about what He was calling me to do for someone else rather than to simply bless me. But I didn’t realize it until much later.
While there in their very small mountain cottage, I could hear loud water rushing and I stopped to ask my hostess what/where it was. She explained it was the rushing water coming down from the Rocky Mountains when the snow melted and then I asked her if there was any way I could see it. Only for the fact that I was looking away was why I didn’t see the horror and fear that must have been written on her face—what I could instantly hear in her voice. Hearing her panic, I immediately dismissed the idea, but only a little while later I found myself asking to see it, again.
Honestly, it wasn’t until I took this to the Lord after berating myself for my stupidity by asking to see it again that I understood. I honestly thought there had to be something wrong with me because I kept bringing it up. And then the “Aha moment” happened, and I realized there had to be a reason He wanted her to go there with me.
So later, while walking back from downtown, I spotted a path just up from the house, when I asked if that led to the river. When she nodded, saying nothing, I just felt led to walk up and turn onto the path. I wasn’t sure if my hostess was behind me or not, but I have to say, standing on that narrow bridge over the rushing water was magnificent and exhilarating!!
Very soon, however, I noticed my hostess at the foot of the bridge. A woman whom I had begun to love and admire and who I could tell began to love and admire me too due to how we both adored the Lord, our Husband. For several minutes she stood motionless, and then when I smiled and opened my arms, she walked towards me. Once on the bridge next to me, she broke down and sobbed, trembling, collapsing in my arms.
After crying it out, we made our way back to the house, and it was there that she began to open up and tell me how, when she was a teen, she had been raped. It was on that bridge that he lured her to a secluded place and grabbed her, dragging her to his car. I said nothing with my heart pounding, but kept listening carefully to her and also to the Lord who was sharing things with me at the same time in my head and heart. Things that I had never understood before and what is so incredibly profound.
What this victim and most victims are left with is a feeling of guilt, falsely allowing the blame to fall and remain ON them.
Over and over she told me “but I should have known!!” whenever I attempted to comfort her. However, as I relayed the events back to her, she slowly began to understand that there was no way she could have known. No way she could have anticipated the trap he set: Someone told her that her best friend was there waiting for her and instead he was there waiting, hiding in the bushes on the other side.
So, if you’ve taken on guilt that isn’t yours, no matter how big or how small, and if you’ve unsuccessfully been unable to be set free from it, then next week I will share MORE of this truth that is both amazing and profound—and why the enemy is able to continue to torment the VICTIM so that the person who has sinned appears unaffected.
In the meantime, please STOP now (or make a date later) to selah what you’ve learned, in other words, meditate on everything. AND be sure that you just don’t think about what you’ve learned, but you set up a date with your Best Friend to be alone with Him and ASK Him to share with you how this message applies to you and anything else you need to ASK Him. Then sit quietly and listen 😉 And keep living abundantly by living like this daily.