Not So Proud as I Was

Since I started reading your courses many things have changed. Many friends told me I am not so proud as I was. I met with her once when she was not willing to come out of her home, I just heard calling from God that I have to go for her and just pray and evangelism to spread his word to her and bless her in His name. I was really confused, but I did it. On the way back from her town I met her on the crossroad, we talked together, prayed, at the end we hug each other and cry. She even told me that She miss me. I asked God several times to show me his sign, as I am confused and I really dont want to go against his will, although I love her. I asked to not be able to see any deer or pheasant in one month as I love theese wild animals and every time I see them I feel like God is really with me and with my desire. 

Since that day I see deers and pheasants every single day. It is amazing how god is showing me, that there is still a chance. Nowadays I feel desperate and exhausted. I asked Lord to break me again to fall on my knees as I feel I turned my sight from him thinking a lot about her comming back. It is not good in restoration I know, thats why I am asking mercy to come back to him to gain strength. I am trying to focus on “wise man” currently but it is hard to read as it is all in english and no translation to slovak language yet. 

Hope I will go through soon. I encourage all of you to do the same. God will change you I am sure. And in addition find some praise ministry or group, sing a lot of praise to Lord he always raise your spirit through praise. We have one grate praise band in slovakia everey week they do the lifestream and their topics every week are really helpfull and always fits in my situation. Praise Lord for His love and mercy even if you are lost and cant find any joy. Joy in him as psalms says!

He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. Mark 9:15

These words come to me after seeing one praise lifestream. Leader asked to pray and bless other people, especially those that hurt us. I went directly to her town and did it. And she even decided not to meet me on my way back home. I met her on the crossroad.

~ Axel in Slovakia