Men, I asked for any restored marriage testimonies from women that would help encourage us as husbands, much like I trust reading Odelia's testimony helps to encourage you.
This testimony is just such a one. Be sure to ask the Lord to show you how you can take from this and incorporate the promises and principles that led to this restoration from Randi.
My husband and I had only been married for a year and a half when we separated! I had never been married before (this was his second marriage) so I did not know how to really treat a man with respect and consideration. That is not to say that he was perfect either but he did treat me right from the beginning. I honestly believe, because I treated him so badly and made his life so miserable, that I began to see him back away from me and lose respect for me.
One of our big problems was our level of spirituality. He was very involved in church and made God a priority in his life. I, on the other hand, attended “at times,” but could do without the actual church experience. I basically only prayed when I needed something or got into trouble. I treated my husband very badly and always spoke of divorce or separation. Then, one day he came home and left, stating that was what I wanted.
After freaking out for about a week or so, I began to get it together. I moved out and got my own place with our daughter. I got a job and started to support myself. I had nowhere else to turn and began to see that God allowed this to happen for a reason. He would begin to change me and I would begin to feel the humility that I was due!
That’s when I found RMI. I give you the credit for leading me in the right direction. I began to understand that God wanted me all to Himself and that only when He had gotten me to a certain point, then things would change for my situation.
During my new walk with the Lord, I learned to trust in Him only. I think I had made a mistake before of looking to my husband to make me happy and blaming him for everything wrong. I learned that God is in control of things, not me. It was SO hard to give up control and just follow blindly! But as I began to do that, my situation started to change! The biggest change came after I fell flat on my face!
I allowed another man to come in and fill me with all the things I was not receiving from my husband. The enemy sent him for sure. He told me everything I had wanted to hear from my husband, and completely played on my emotions and vulnerability—and I allowed it! This was after I had been so involved in the Word!! I began to skip church and not look at your website anymore because of the guilt I felt! Although I was separated, I was still married, and had become an adulterer! I had reached an all-time low!
My husband found out about my "adultery" but still loved me anyway and pursued me like he hadn't in the past five months we had been separated. I could not believe how open he became to me again, wanting to spend time with me every day (when before we only saw each other once a week on his terms). He also became intimate with me again, when before he did not want us to be intimate. He wanted us to work on ourselves and then come back together. He had an elaborate plan, but God had another one!
Incredibly, I met with him one day and told him I wanted a divorce. He asked me if there was someone else. When I blatantly lied to him about the adultery, he gave up himself. I received divorce papers days later. I felt so ashamed of myself. I was going to sign the papers. But then something inside me only wanted to be with my husband!
I immediately broke it off with the other man and went to my husband and confessed everything! We tried to get back together a few times in the next couple of months, but he was having trouble with that. He just kept getting to a point where he kept asking me to sign the divorce papers and would not talk with me anymore! I was so sad about it, but I knew God could turn it around.
I continued to lean on Him and pray for my husband. I prayed for the hedge of protection and that he would long for me again. I prayed that he would not be able to relax or be happy because deep down he wanted me but wouldn't admit it to even himself! He even went to a divorce recovery group and took his wedding ring off! I just sat still and waited for God to change things. I knew He was working "behind the scenes” no matter what it looked like. Everyone thought I was crazy because I kept telling them it would change and they would tell me they didn't believe it! I understood that they must not know my God!
This is how my restoration happened. After not seeing any hope from my husband for over a month, I began to find hope in the little things that I did see, even though to others, they were not a big deal. Then one day at church, they announced a men's retreat the upcoming weekend. I prayed that my husband would attend. They also announced a marriage seminar to take place about a month later! I silently prayed that he would feel some sort of desire to go. (He still attended our church, but went to a later service offered.)
That very day, I was waiting after church while my daughter played on the playground. My husband came over to ask me if I wanted to go to the seminar! I was pleasantly shocked! I agreed and told him I would love to. I knew that he was aware I still wore my ring and considered us married. We began to talk and see each other again!
The next weekend, he went to the men's retreat and when we saw each other after that, he told me he wanted us to move back in together again! I was amazed! God worked suddenly to turn things around and we moved back in together a month ago! God is so good!
I found you when I began searching for help for separated people and came across your website. The stories I saw hit so close to home that I immediately joined your fellowship! Thank you all so much for giving me the encouragement I needed to go along with God's will for our marriage!
I have recommended your ministry to several people who are having trouble in their marriage and even to those that have been divorced for years! My ePartner was great and very encouraging to me. It was nice to know there were people out there in the world praying for me. I also learned to fast and began to see great results from that!
Praise the Lord and thank you Restore Ministries for offering understanding and hope! I will never forget you!
Randi in Mississippi